Fancy Life Secrets: fancy life

Showing posts with label fancy life. Show all posts

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Let Me Get My Attorney on the Line

Doing fake lab stuff for the camera.
I was really measuring though so maybe it was real lab stuff.

Fancy Free Hair & Skin has officially been in business since 2015. I didn't actually start taking it seriously until 2016 when my revenue increased by 500%. If you don't know by now, I am a scientist. I am good at this lab stuff. Real good. It's my jam. Starting, running and growing a business....well, that's another story. So, I've been educating myself. Enrolling in programs. Building relationships with more experienced business owners so they will mentor me. I don't know what I don't know and you can't always rely on Google. I mean, there's a lot on the interwebs but there comes a time in business where you need real business help from real business experts in order to grow.

I said all of that to build up to my story line. LOL! Every training program I've been to talks about having your advisory board or something like that. It should consist of a business banker, a business accountant, and a business lawyer. I am so blessed to be surrounded by black girl magic in my family, so business attorney was one of the first positions that I was able to fill. My cousin is an attorney and her business is to provide legal advice and services to small businesses, Be Bossy, LLC. Well, would you look at God. So, I've had a business attorney since day one. Ms. Bossy got me all set up with trademark and copyrighting. Most importantly, she has been instrumental with contract reviews.

I love womens more than him though.

Let's get to the nitty gritty. The hardest part about growing a business is branding and marketing. If you are a creative, this is hard because you want to create and you have all of these great ideas. You probably don't communicate well, so how will you concisely communicate how great your creation is? You hire a marketing professional. Some marketing companies specialize in branding, others in creating content for social media. I have both. Once I was solid on what I wanted to communicate (Thanks to The Audacity Group), I was good to go with hiring a social media manager to generate and post content. The first two weren't necessarily a good fit. I did a quick google search and selected a third. Based on my on-boarding process, I thought I had it right with the third company. Third times the charm, right? I should've known from the beginning when #3 - as I will refer to them from this point forward - boasted of being a black owned company and then assigned a white woman to be my account manager. Let me jot that down again...
This black owned company assigned a white woman to manage my social media for my black owned company marketing products to black womens - with an s. 😒

After some delay, I got my content from #3 and it was just okay. Some typos. Some things I would've
done differently with font but whatever, just start posting cuz I had been doing it myself for 3 days and I was exhausted. Then I noticed that 3 days had gone by with nothing posted. I went to look at the calendar I approved and it was only through the November 15. So, I'm like wait, did I miss an email on the 12th, 13th or 14th? Did they send something for me to approve and I missed it? No. Nothing. I get an email from my account manager telling me about a connectivity issue with my Facebook Business manager, which is what is used to manage paid ads. Ummmm.....that's fine but what does that have to do with you generating content for posting? 👀

Actual photograph of me reviewing that content

Let's look at the timeline, no posting for November 16, 17, 18. Also, there is no content to approve. Seems like there was no intention to even post or resolve the connectivity issue IF that had anything to do with actual posting.

I can't call my account manager directly so I schedule an appointment to talk with her. We speak on November 19. We work through the connectivity issue together. She explains that she is working with a Facebook specialist but they are slow. Ok. She also tells me that I will have content to approve for posting on the next day, Nov. 20. After our call, I spent 2 hours playing around with Facebook Business manager and fix it. Nov. 20 comes and goes. No content. Nov. 21 comes and almost goes and I shoot her an email asking for my content. Nothing. Nov. 22 comes, I get the content. This time it has maaaaaaddddd grammatical errors. They used pictures of old products I don't use any more from a folder marked "old Product Pics". Come one y'all. I started to correct, make comments, and then I'm like "Fcuk this! They're fired. I don't have time to deal with this a week before Black Friday." And to add insult to injury, none of holiday deals were included in the calendar. At that moment, I knew it was over for #3.

We're now at day 8 of #3 not posting on my social media. My response to the content was "I'm very disappointed in the amount of grammatical errors. This content looks low quality and thrown together. Thank you for your time." My account manager asks to allow her team to fix it on Nov 25. "No thank you. I'm going to end this relationship. I will no longer be using this company".
The account manager responds on Dec. 2. THE SECOND DAY IN DECEMBER! Which means I've been having to manage my social media on my own for over 2 weeks and, most importantly, through the holidays. Her email read "I'm sorry but I can't let you out of your 3 month contract." LET ME?!?! *Drake vc* Ma'am....ma'am. You don't have to let me do anything because you didn't do what you were paid to do. What she didn't know was that I had already called the bank on Nov 26 and stopped payment on their ACH withdrawal. So, when my phone started ringing on Dec 6 all I could do was laugh. I check my email "I tried to call you a couple times today...."

Picture taken of me while on
that call....unbothered.

First of all, bitch. Make an appointment. The same way I made an appointment when I needed to speak to you after you didn't post to my account for 3 days. I am very busy and I don't just take random phone calls that I'm not expecting. Second of all, I said what I said. IDGAF about the length of the contract. I DO know that you ain't do what you were supposed to do so I'm not gonna KEEP paying y'all. Only an idiot would pay for the third month.
So, we make an appointment and she calls with her director on the line. I'm "ok"-ing them to death cuz there's really nothing to talk about. I could tell that her director, another white woman, was more pissed about me stopping payment than anything. Girl, what part of "I said what I said" don't you understand? The director decides to "research" how my account was handled to decide if they will continue to pursue the third payment. Ok, girl. You do that. No matter what you find, I still ain't paying. The director emails me the next day, saying that she didn't find any wrong doing on my account manager's part and that they were going to pursue payment for the third month. That's when the lawyer comes in....

My lawyer's drafted response "It's clear that you don't have a full understanding of the culpability of the account manager....." followed by an outline of dates, highlighting time lapses on my account manager's part, complete with screenshots. Tuh! The final sentence is what took me out "As you can see, services were not rendered as promised. Hence, the reason I did not allow for the third payment. Moreover, I believe my proposed resolution of terminating our agreement and allowing you to retain the funds already remitted was more than reasonable. If you continue to feel otherwise and wish to discuss this further, you can contact my attorney, Krystle Myers directly, she is copied to this email."

Done and done. It goes without saying that #3 decided that it was best to release me from their lor janky contract without paying for the third month. When I completed the contract termination form, my account manager's name wasn't available in the drop down for me to select. I'm assuming she was fired, possibly for the gross mismanagement of my account. Or maybe it was because she lied about it. Either way. My attorney handled it.

I knew what #3 did wrong but I wouldn't have been able to communicate the way Krystle did cuz...I'm not a lawyer. Plus, there's something about "speak to my attorney" that sounds so boss and "STOP PLAYING WITH ME" LOL!

I will say, I messed up by not having the contract with #3 reviewed BEFORE I signed it. Usually, Krystle reviews contracts that I produce for my clients, I just didn't think about it for a social media marketing company that showed up so high up in my Google search. They should've known what they were doing. But...they didn't.

Lesson: Document all communications cuz screenshots don't lie. Don't accept BS work just because you're desperate. Stand you ground. And most importantly, have a business attorney on deck.

Shameless Plug Alert:

Fancy Free Hair & Skin manufactures quality products for hair and skin, as well as provides natural hair consults for women who would like assistance on their natural hair journey. Our motto is "Keeping you fancy and free of chemicals." Visit our website, www.fancyfreehairandskin.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sign up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

2019 Round Up

2019 was an interesting year for me in business and my personal life. I spent the first half of the year trying to figure out my life with a colicky baby, a rambunctious 2 year old and a workaholic husband while battling post partum depression. I did a lot of investing in my business. So much that it made me anxious. I ain't used to debt or being in the red. But I finished strong and I didn't die. So I am alive to tell the story.

Fancy Life Accomplishments

Survived 3 months of colic
Overcame postpartum depression
Got my husband to take over handling dinner
Got approval to increase frequency of housekeeping service
Decluttered my house
Made a little bit of money off of selling my kids' baby gear
Lost over 30 pounds
Created a self care routine
Maintained a self care routine for 7 months
Produced breast milk for 12 months
Set personal boundaries to maintain sanity
Maintained said boundaries
Removed a curse from my bloodline
Renewed my spiritual journey
Enjoyed my husband
Found a school for my son
Loved on my family

Fancy Free Hair & Skin Accomplishments

Got my back office in order
Established more automated systems
Hired 3 new employees
Fired 2 employees
Hired a marketing company
Figured out the voice of my brand with the help of a marketing company
Rebranded the look of my products
Added a seasonal scent milk to the roster
Added two new products to the roster
Added 3 new deodorant scents to the roster
Added 2 new product kits to the roster
Hired a social media management company
Fired a social media management company
Hired a second social media management company
Fired the second social media management company
Lawyers on deck to clap back on raggedy second social media management company when they tried to pursue payment even after being raggedy
Added two retail stores
Added one more wholesale buyer
Hired a business tax accountant
Increased revenues by 35%
Increased spending too (typing the percentage increased hurts my feelings)

I'm far from my goals but I am making progress. Progress is important. Typing it out like this made me realize how much I was able to accomplish with a baby strapped to my back and a toddler hanging on to my legs. There were definitely days that I cried. But there were also days that I felt like I could conquer the world. Just know, when I cried, it was only for like 5 minutes. Then I wiped my tears and got busy. Crying is therapeutic, it's a release. Just don't live in a state of sadness where you can't be productive.

I learned that being vulnerable makes me strong. I learned that it's ok to not be ok. I learned to listen to my intuition. I learned to look inward, to my ancestors, and upward, to God. I learned to be in the moment and pause sometimes, especially when it comes to having fun with my children because business building will always need my attention but they will not be little forever.

Shameless Plug Alert:

Monday, October 21, 2019

Just in One Year

I finished out a journal last night. And by that, I mean I wrote on the last page of a book that I write my daily journals in. I make a practice of going back and reviewing old journals to compare and contrast. I see what I still struggle with and what I have overcome . The first page of this journal was when I found out I was having a little girl and that she was healthy based on the genetic testing. I was elated. I made a note about how Jehovah gives us the desires of our heart.

I also made note of how I knew that my days were less productive when I skipped my evening planning period. Most notably was a constant theme of how my lack of income stressed me. How was I going to continue to contribute to our household budget and me documenting different strategies for diversifying my streams of income while building Fancy Free Hair & Skin. It consumed me. Then on top of being pregnant, trying to figure out how a maternity leave plan (which proved to be difficult since I'm self employed), I got hit with a $80,000 lawsuit. Talk about tears. I was a stressed out, emotional wreck! But the lawsuit actually was the catalyst for things beginning to turn around.

I talked to real estate lawyers, bankruptcy lawyers, I even tried to negotiate but the plaintiff wouldn't budge. We met with our financial adviser who gave us different options on how we could pay it. We finally decided that I would file bankruptcy. I was sad about it because my credit score, which had taken a hit in 2017, had starting to bounce back. However, bankruptcy was the most productive option.

Anyway, since June 2018, we have become a family of four. I've conquered postpartum depression. Fancy Free Hair & Skin has hired, fired and hired again. My husband has found a way to increase his income by 30%, relieving me of having to consistently contribute to our household finances while building my business. Nothing is perfect. But we have been able to push through and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Moral of the Story: Life is going to throw you curve balls. It's not the actual curve ball that can change your life, it's how you respond to it. I chose to turn inward and focus on what I needed to learn from each situation. I focused on solutions instead crying over things I couldn't control. Let's be clear, I shed lots of tears. But I was working on solutions with tears in my eyes. LOL!

Shameless Plug Alert:

Monday, June 3, 2019

"Take A Knee"

Sometimes you have "a day". What is "a day"? "A day" is when everything that can go wrong, goes wrong. Simple tasks that should take less than 5 minutes, drag on for hours. Information seeking conversations do not yield any information. It's so frustrating. Productivity can be delayed. Not just because of the extra time require but because you cannot get your mind right to move on to the next task. You find yourself wanted to scream and ask WHHHYYYY?!?! But that wouldn't be productive, would it?

I had a day last week. I was very annoyed. I knew I couldn't get back to work feeling that way. What do you do in those moments? You "Take a knee".

My husband and I always use that phrase when talking about having to deal with a stressful situation. There was this movie called After Earth, starring Will Smith and his son, Jaden Smith. Will's character, Cypher, a leader in a peace keeping organization on a planet that humans escaped to after having to abandon Earth. Cypher became a legend because he was able to defeat an alien weapon, Ursa, on this new planet that could detect fear in it's opponents. The plot of the movie is "meh", not worth me trying to explain. The movie received horrible ratings and didn't do so well in the box office. However, a pivotal moment in the movie is when Cypher's son, Kitai, played by Jaden Smith, had to face the Ursa alone, in order to save his own life and ultimately his father's. In typical dramatic fashion, Kitai was at a point in the battle when he felt defeated and he heard his father's instruction, "Take a knee". When Kitai took a knee, he was able to refocus and re-evaluate his situation, which eliminated the fear and the Ursa could not detect him. He won the battle. The ending was happy. Blah. Blah. Blah. Even though we aren't battling Ursas. The internal battles we fight can be just as scary as Ursas. Especially resisting the urge to spazz out and "knock all the crap over".🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Being frustrated. Angry. Annoyed. Flipping the table over. Yelling at people. It doesn't accomplish anything. It actually makes you look unprofessional and out of control, probably deterring people who may want to work with you or help you out. Press the pause button. Get out of your emotions and start looking for solutions. One thing that I've learned in therapy is that it's ok to acknowledge our emotions but living in our emotions is not productive. When you feel yourself bubbling over with emotion, take a knee, refocus, realign, gather yourself and get back to business.

Shameless Plug Alert:

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

All They Can Say Is No

I posted something on social media the other day. It was a post with words. I usually don't get a lot of engagement with those kinds of posts but this one resonated with people for whatever reason. It read "If you don't ask, the answer is always no." This is a principle I have lived by for a long time. Here is what started this mindset.

Picture this, Sicily 1932. LOL! No, actually it was College Park, MD, April 2002. I'm all set to graduate with my baccalaureate degree in General Biology in May 2002 when I received a letter in the mail that totally knocked the wind out of my sail. Basically, the letter said that I would not be able to walk because I was short one credit. ONE! CREDIT! Ok. I get it. I wouldn't receive my degree on that day but to say I can't even walk. I felt that was a bit much. Imagine finding this out in April. One

month before graduation. I had to walk. HAD TO! All of my family had already made arrangements to come in town for my graduation. My parents had planned a huge celebration. This couldn't be life. So, I put my thinking cap on and went to talk to my "counselor".
In December 2001, I had a serious car accident that resulted in me having to postpone taking my finals for the fall semester. Which resulted in my not doing so hot on one of my science finals. I was already on thin ice for this class, so I ended up with a D instead of the C I would've probably gotten had I taken the final a scheduled. That class just so happened to be in the category of laboratory science classes that I needed to graduate, resulting in me being short one credit. I was devastated but not defeated. I asked what I could do to get this one credit, so that I could walk. The counselor did not seem optimistic but all I could do was give it my best shot.

Believe it or not, after all of that, this wasn't
even my degree. It was a picture of the "M" 🙄

First, I had to get the registrar's office to approve late registration for a one credit "independent laboratory study class", THEN I had to find a professor who would be willing to read a paper on the research I was doing at my part time job as a research assistant at Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, and grade it with a C or better. Easy breezy, right? Well, it ended up working out but it was stressful as heyall! I had to call on my Emmy award winning acting talents to convince the registrar's office, showing up with pictures of my mangled car, discharge papers from the ICU and, of course, eyes full of tears. It worked. I was registered for a one credit laboratory class in the proper category.

The most stressful part was finding a professor who would read a paper and grade it. Shouldn't have been too hard, I mean University of Maryland College Park had at LEAST 200 faculty in the Life Sciences department alone. I could find one who would do that for me. All I needed was one yes. Just one. One professor who would do a solid for a mediocre, not so memorable student they had never met before. *sigh* That was the reality I was facing but all they could say is "No", right? I would never know what they would say if I didn't ask. And besides, I only needed one "Yes." So, I started emailing. And emailing. And emailing. I emailed every. single. professor. at UMCP's department of Life Sciences. Every last one of them. All of them said no, except for one. And that's all I needed was one yes. I wrote the paper, got an A, not only walked in my graduation but actually finished that chapter of my undergraduate studies on time. Barely. But I did it.

I went on to get a second bachelor degree, a master's degree and become a certified specialist in my

How a Transfusion Services Supervisor's desk looks. LOL!

field. My career goal was to become a laboratory manager. I hit that goal by the time I was 29. How? I reluctantly took a job at the American Red Cross after I graduated from the National Institutes of Health's Specialist in Blood Bank program. I loved what I did but I hated the work environment. One evening, after a I had a disagreement with my immediate supervisor, I went online looking for a new job. I saw the position for a Blood Bank Supervisor. They wanted someone with managerial experience. I had just finished school, so I didn't have that. I applied anyway. What's the worse that could happen? All they can do is say "no". They didn't though. They took a chance on me and EYE was able to leave that god awful work environment I hated.

I have a few friends who thanked me for giving them the same advice when they were applying for graduate and professional school." Just apply. So what if your scores aren't where they recommend. All they can say is no. You only need one yes anyway." They took my advice and BOOM! They were admitted and right back on track to hitting their goals. Ok, you applied to 10 graduate programs and got rejected from 9. Go to the one who accepted you. Duh! LOL!

You will not die if you get told no. I mean, your feelings may be hurt but you will not physically perish and cease to exist. So, stop being afraid of hearing it. Shoot your shot. The worst thing that could happen is you get rejected. So what!!! Brush yourself off. Figure out why you were rejected. Improve. Try again or go somewhere else and try. However, if they say yes.....EVERYONE wins. But if you never ask, if you never try, the answer will always be "no". And you'll probably always be wondering "What if I had gone for it?"

MORAL: Life is way too short to live with regret. Just do it. If it works out, it was meant to be. If it doesn't, Jehovah definitely has something better in store for you. Trust.

Shameless Plug Alert:

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Weeding The Garden: Identifying Relationships To Eliminate

I know there are 9 bridesmaids pictured.
2 of them are my sisters so they don't count. LOL!

I don't know why I hear so many women say they have a hard time staying friends with women. I have a rack of close friends that I've accumulated over the years. For example: I had 7 bridesmaids in my wedding when I was 27. I was close with all of them. I am still close with all of them. If I were to get married again at 37, I'd probably have a few more.....like 15 total. I don't know. Maybe I'm a friend hoarder. LOL!

Now, of course, a few weeds made their way into my garden but I weed often, so they didn't last long.

Characteristics Of Weeds

1. Negative energy.
Sometimes it's hard to read energy. I have become more in tuned with my intuition as I have matured. I decide if a relationship is worth building just like I run a business or a laboratory, hire and fire quickly. Relationships with history can be mended but if someone is shady or doing people close to them wrong, it's only a matter of time before you're the victim. *DELETE* I wish you well but I don't want that around me. I work too hard to attract love and light into my life.

2. Haters/Frienemy.
These people are always watching what you're doing. Instead of congratulating you or celebrating

you, they know someone who is doing better or they go out of their way to "one up" you. These people also find a way to point out the smallest flaw. They don't do it in love either. They don't want you to think to highly of yourself. NOPE! *DELETE* What is for me is for me. If you are not happy for me, go over there and be sad away from me.

3. Never shows up.
When I say "show up", I mean physically and just to have someone to talk to. When a relationship

gets to the point where it's not adding value to your life, then it's time to end it. Quickly. I am a giving person, but I also need love too. One sided relationships have no place in the Fancy Life. *DELETE*

4. Makes every situation about them.
When you realize that everything isn't about you, it's so much easier not to take things personally. You definitely don't get offended. I just don't want to be around insecure people. The last thing I don't want to do is start being paranoid, thinking everyone is talking about me or doesn't like me for one odd reason or another. It's way too stressful. I ain't got time for extra stress in my life. I don't attend pity parties. *DELETE*

5. Doesn't invite you.
They half ass show up to your events and when they have something they "thought you were busy" or "wouldn't be interested". The truth is, they didn't want you there. When you shine, some people don't want you around their people because they don't want you to out shine them OR, now lean in and read this closely, they don't want you around the people they talk shit about you to. You know, to show those people the the truth about you. Not interested. *DELETE*

A couple of new flowers. No weed zone.

When you realize that someone in your life is displaying one, some or ALL of these characteristics, CUT THEM OUT of your life!!! And I do not care who they are to you. NO ONE IS EXEMPT! People spend a lifetime coping with family issues and the like. So if you realize that one of the weeds in your life is your parent, sibling, cousin, best friend from kindergarden, whomever it may be, if they are no longer adding value to your life, you will be better off without them. Trust me. I have real life example.

Shameless Plug Alert:

Fancy Free Hair & Skin manufactures quality products for hair and skin, as well as provides natural hair consults for women who would like assistance on their natural hair journey. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreehairandskin.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sign up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.

Monday, January 1, 2018

2017: The Year In Review

In September, I started Darren Hardy's Insane Productivity program because I needed help figuring out ways that I could be more productive in a shorter amount of time. No more all-nighters. No sitting on the couch with a laptop when you have a toddler. One of the things I learned through this program was that I was spending WAY too much time on my phone. Text messages. Group chat. And the biggest time consumer, social media. So I hired a virtual assistant to do my business related posts and put my phone away.

But no one wants to do business with someone who ONLY has something to say when it's about their business. So, if you are my Facebook friend or follow me on Twitter, you know I stared posting once daily. #FancyLifeDaily and #FancyFreeDaily. Anything I might have posted during the day, I list it in one post at the end of the day when I start looking at my phone. That is only after I have completed my work. In the spirit of the new year. Here is my #FancyFreeLifeYear or whatever.

I'm ALIVE!!
I know. But I had to say it, since I almost died in 2016. It kind of set the tone for how I have started living the rest of my life. I am present wherever I am. I focus more on moments and making memories than accumulating things. You know, alive and living.
Family life is good.
My son is healthy and happy. A slight speech delay but he's a stubborn Taurus and understands everything, so my diagnosis is that he will talk eventually. My husband and I are doing great. We are communicating well. We are sexing regularly. We are speaking each other's love languages. We celebrated 10 years of marriage and we celebrated in a big way.
I am growing.
I started going to therapy regularly in 2013 when I thought I wanted to leave my husband. I had some things to figure out. I still go to therapy. But I've graduated from 1 session per week to 1 session per month. As my therapist says "You've gotta keep your crazy in check." Not that I'm crazy, per se, but life can really throw you some curve balls that will make you think you're losing it. I addressed some non-spouse relationship issues. Lots of them. I still cut people off but I have also learned to love people for who they are and not have any expectations. Man. That really takes a load off. I have invested a lot of time and money into personal development. Well, more than I have ever invested in prior years. I just want to be my best self.
I'm a full time entre-po-n......
One thing that a near death experience will teach you is that life is short. No need to waste time doing something that you don't love and spending so much time at a place you'd rather not be....like work. No. I don't remember what happened, I was unconscious. However, the thought of leaving my husband to raise our son, really put some things into perspective. Quitting my job at the end of March, when we had decided I'd quit in July, was one of thee most scary things I have ever done. We took the risk and neither one of us have any regrets. While things can get hairy with our finance at times. I am MUCH happier with how my work days go. And happiness is a more valuable currency than dollar bills. To me at least.
My business is growing.
One of the reasons I decided to retire from healthcare was because my business grew 500% in it's second year without me investing much time and effort into it. So I decided to focus all of my time and VIOLA! It's growing. I have launched four new products in 2017. I have a team. The possibilities of expansion are plentiful. I am thankful. I am blessed.

2017 has been my best year yet. I have definitely had some ups and downs. A few moments of crying in my closet. Occasionally feeling like a failure. But I kept going. I keep doing. I pray. I have put my pride aside. I listen. I go with my gut or that whisper from Jehovah guiding me. I am open to opportunities. My network is expanding. I consider all suggestions and criticisms. I cannot wait for 2018 to unfold. What are you excited about in 2018?

Shameless Plug Alert:

Fancy Free Hair & Skin manufactures quality products for hair and skin, as well as provides natural hair consults for women who would like assistance on their natural hair journey. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreehairandskin.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sign up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.

Monday, December 18, 2017

The Woods' Celebrate Ten: Vegas Celebration Recap

Wow! It's been 10 years since my husband and I said "I do." It went by so quickly. However, it was not all peaches and cream. If I'm going to be completely honest, years one through six were rough. Divorce lawyers were consulted. Separate bedrooms were slept in. Apartments leases were explored. It was a rough road but my mother gave me some good advice when I would complain about my husband to her. She said "If you leave once, it will be easier to leave again and again and again, until there's nothing to return to."

Clearly, we stuck it out. We made it to our 10th anniversary. The separate bedroom thing lasted for like 3 hours. LOL! The apartments were only a few quick Google searches. The truth is, in all of our mess, we love each other and always knew that we were made for each other, so why fake like we could ever live apart? Year six, we put in some serious work on our marriage and on ourselves. The truth is, no matter how great you may seem to everyone on the outside, the people in your house see your true colors and know how horrible your poop smells. Our grass is green but our water bill is astronomical. Moral: We have paid the price for our happiness.

Year seven was bliss, as close to a happy marriage as we had ever seen. Year eight, I found out I was pregnant and almost lost my life giving birth (Click HERE to read all about that experience). So year nine was even better than year seven and eight because there was a new lease on life. Near death experiences tend to have that effect on people. So, we decided that we would renew our vows for our anniversary in 2017. Neither one of us had never been to Las Vegas, so we thought it'd be a good idea to do it there. I had visions of super fly cocktail attire in a tacky chapel with Elvis performing the ceremony. But what's a vow renewal without the people you are close to being their to witness? I sent out a little text invite to get a gauge of who wanted to come. Then life happened....

I became a full time entrepreneur and my son grew from a cute little infant into an active toddler. I got busy, so I delegated the planning. I hired Cordially Invited Events to put it all together. I literally only told them that I wanted a wedding at a tacky chapel and to take everyone who came out to dinner afterward. Dassit. When I tell you my husband and I were overwhelmed by the experience, that is an understatement. We thought maybe 50 people would respond and only about 30 people would show up. Almost 70 people made their way to Vegas to celebrate with us. The chapel was perfect. The meal venue was fly, black owned, and the food was delicious. The decor was super cute and represented our union flawlessly. The icing on the cake was that one of my bestest, most deserving girlfriends got engaged. It was a perfect weekend.

We had so much fun with our family and friends. It was truly a memorable event. I want to share this experience with you. Click HERE to see some of the pictures. If you want to watch the re-cap video (it's about 6 minutes), click HERE.

I have to list the Production Credits because it was a production. Ashanti and I really just showed up.
Event Planners: Cordially Invited Events
Photographer: Nice Shot, Kyle Pompey
Videographer: Apeture, Stephen Jones
Make Up: Beauty By Bre
Dress: Brides and Grooms, Pikesville, MD
Jacket: Turning Point
Arto and Syvilla Woods: Sponsors for Meet and Greet as well as Cocktail Hour
Centry and Preston Greene: Traveling babysitters

Cordially Invited Events handled everything from arranging the hotels, guest transportation to and from the chapel, harrassing Mandalay Bay after the shooting to try to get us some complimentary stuff and upgrades, table decor at the lunch, running around when all the decor didn't get delivered on time, harassing me to make sure I had my slide show together after my hard drive crashed and I lost all of my pictures from 2005-2013 (Thank God for Facebook). I'm sure there are other things they handled that I didn't know about but they'll spill it at the Post-Event Debriefing. LOL!

Kyle and Stephen....what can I say. These are two of the most humble and talented "shooters" I know. They are usually out doing celebrity shoots and high profile jobs but they penciled the Woods' in for 4 whole days to make sure our weekend was captured properly, from all angles. A photographer once told me "You only get one time to capture the moment. Then you can re-live it over and over again. Never be cheap with capturing it." I am so thankful for them. We keep looking at all of these shots and video just smiling and laughing and blushing. Stephen even over came his fear of flying to take his longest flight ever, just for us. We had NO IDEA! As if him being there wasn't special enough, that made it even more meaningful.

Quinceanara/Bride of Beetleguise Dress

Of course there was dress drama. My sister, Thee Fashioneer, found me a fly dress way in advance that had to be made custom. I ordered it. It came. It was hideous. I had 6 weeks to get it together. I couldn't find anything I liked on the interwebs that was within my budget. So, one day I was out running errands and decided to stop in Brides and Grooms, on the corner of Reisterstown Rd. and Slade Ave. The sales lady gave me a side eye when I said "wedding" and "2 weeks" in the same sentence but found me 2 dresses in my size and desired color within my budget. The first one I tried on was the one.

Ashanti and I always talk about how blessed we are to have 2 sets of AMAZING parents. We definitely could have been dealt a different hand in life. When I told Mama Woods we were over budget for the meal (I definitely didn't budget for 70 people. LOL!), she stepped right in because "Don't be coming all the way to Vegas and trying to penny pinch the details". Her words. Not mine. She went to Sam's Club and balled out for snacks, drinks and liquor for us to have in our suite over the weekend. I'm so happy our parents have a great relationship with each other. Both sets worked out their "Vegas Fun" schedules with each other so they could be available to hang out with their grandson while we had fun celebrating.

Becoming a full time entrepreneur has been a HUGE financial sacrifice for us but some things deserve a proper celebration. We planned, budgeted, and saved for over a year to prepare for this so that our responsibilities wouldn't suffer in the aftermath. I had many second thoughts but always came back to life being about moments and experiences. I am SO happy we followed through with this plan. Thanks for reading. Now get back to work. LOL!

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Rejoice! Once was lost....

My husband and I started dating while we were both in school. About 3 years in, we were talking about marriage. I made it clear to him that I did not need a ring to plan a wedding and that I was ok with just a wedding band when we did get married. I did not want to start our marriage in debt, considering he would only be working for a few months before we got married. However, my husband is a man. Men have pride. An engagement ring is a kind of ego boost for a man. He chased and caught me. I was his prize. He needed to claim it with a ring. His response to my fiscally responsible plan was "I am Ashanti Woods. My fiancee WILL have a ring." Ok, dear. Whatever.

He researched. Learned about diamonds and found a way to buy me a beautiful high quality diamond engagement ring. The very next thing he told me after I said yes was "I'm going to get you something bigger when I finish residency." (Lawd. I'm tearing up as I write this.)

Push Gift

Well, residency came and went. We had marital problems. He wasn't sure I deserved an upgrade. I wasn't sure we would stay married. We worked on us. We fixed it. We bought our dream home knowing it was a money pit. We started a family. I was really swollen during pregnancy. So swollen that we had to pry that ring off of my swollen pregnant fingers. Literally, with olive oil, ice and dental floss. The ring he had sacrificed to buy me, with no job, went into the original box and locked into our safe.

Mother's Day Gift

We joked about me not wanting to look like a single mother without a wedding ring while pregnant. He bought me a push gift. A beautiful gemstone set. I LOVE that ring. THEN, I almost died during delivery (Click HERE to read about that). He bought me another beautiful set for Mother's Day. I LOVE that ring too. Now, here I am with wedding set options and I was still wanting to wear my original set. I know. #FirstWorldProblems. I'd try it on every now and then but my fingers never went all the way down after having my son. My original rings were now too small and needed to be sized up. My husband wanted me to just do it all at once, upgrade the stone and get the rings sized but quitting my job to pursue full-time entrepreneurship pushed that plan a little further off into the future.

After having a good month in sales, I took my set to the jeweler to get sized. I was so happy when I picked it up. It was sparkly and shining like the first day I got it. I wanted to preserve the "fresh from the jeweler" sparkle, so I didn't wear it everyday. When we went on vacation, I decided to wear my push gift ring instead because I'd be devastated if something happened to my original set.

While on vacation, I lost one of my super small studs in the grass. But I found it. My husband kept asking me how I found it. I shrugged. We laughed. Went on about with our vacation fun. We had no idea that lost and found stud was foreshadowing. Jehovah was preparing us for the big lose.

One day in July, I decided to take my son to my girlfriend's house to swim. I put on my beloved original wedding ring set, packed up the kid and start driving. Halfway to her house, I look down and see it. Or don't see it. Either way. My heart dropped. The center stone was missing. I didn't panic. I knew that it was somewhere in the house or the car. I get to my girlfriends house. I search the car. We stay for a few minutes. I go home. I search the alley, garage, back yard. We scour the house. I tell the housekeeper to leave the vacuum contents for me to sift through. Nothing. That was July.

No Center Stone

Unfortunately, I never added my ring, or any other valuable for that matter, to our insurance policy, so, after the deductible, I'd only have $500 to shop for a new diamond if I made a claim. Not worth it. But we were not worried. Sad. But not worried. We remembered that night in the Dominican Republic when I found my stud in the grass and knew that Jehovah wanted us to be at ease. It would show up.

This year makes 10 years of marriage for us. The first six year's were rocky. So we planned on having a small vow renewal in Las Vegas to celebrate us making it to this milestone. We only invited close friends who know what we've overcome. My husband and I haven't talked about my ring but I knew it was in the back of his mind. Things have been tight since I became a full time entrepreneur. We aren't sure we can afford the renewal but we are at a phase in our lives where experiences mean more than things. Not being able to upgrade my ring is no big deal but not having a ring at all.... *phew* It's now November. I lost my stone in July. With the renewal less than a month away, the ring was coming to ring forefront of my mind but I won't dare mention it.

Friday, I was in the alley, struggling with trying to attach my son's carseat base in my car. I never do it in the alley. I always do it in the garage. But my car had been in the shop, so my mother in law's car that I'd been driving was in the garage. I was struggling really bad this time. More than usual. Took off my watch and rings to get in to it. Was twisting and changing angles when I see a little twinkle coming from the seam of the carseat. I stepped back. Looked again. The sun was hitting it at the right angle. It was my diamond!

It's a big deal to me.

Hallelujah!! I hollered. Tears came to my eyes. Unbelievable! All this time. It was right there. I tried to grab it and it fell into the depths of my car's door trim. Riddled with wires and snaps. I started pulling it apart but I was running late to get the kid from daycare.

First call. My husband. Best news all month. Made his day. Took the car to my father. He pulls the seat and door trim apart. Viola! Diamond in hand. Won't He do it! All praises. Jehovah always delivers. Now we're so happy to have that original diamond. Smaller than the diamond my husband wants me to have but it means soooo much more to us now that we found it after thinking it may have been lost forever.

Moral: Jehovah be mentally preparing you for things to come and youoneemknowit. Appreciate what you have. If it's taken away, you will be sad. Allow the sadness but have faith that Jehovah will restore it when the time is right.

I'm sure there are some other lessons that I needed to learn from this. I'll let y'all know after I meditate on it for a little while longer. Until then, pray and have faith. Everything is going to be alright. Everything you lost will be restored.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Started From The Bottom, Now We're....Still Kinda At The Bottom

I started selling Fancy Free Pomade for Hair & Skin in March 2015, it was on a whim. No business plan. No real plan for it at all. My goodt goodt girlfriend knows her stuff, after using it once, she said "Sell this." So I started selling it. That first year was a world wind of packaging, designing labels, solidifying vendors....or at least trying to solidify vendors, but that's another story. You know, just trying to figure it all out without having the slightest clue of what I was doing. What I did know was that I had something good. I had a great product with a great concept and as soon as people tried it, they were hooked.

When I saw what I looked at my profits from 2015, I thought "We might be on to something." If I had the right guidance, if I had the right influence, if I had someone to show me, step by step, how to run my business, this could really be big. But I had none of that. I didn't even have a real website. LOL! I talked to a few people but no one who could commit to really mentoring me the way I needed. I am a scientist, not a business woman. I was floating by in the first half of 2016. Taking my sweet time to get my website together. I mean, I was selling on Etsy and eBay, good enough. I had this HUGE project that I was working on at work. I had a baby in my belly. I had a lot on my plate. Then I got a call to for Shark Tank casting. Whaaaaaatttt??????? OMG! I was so nervous. I had to record a video. I didn't know what to say. My website wasn't finished. I didn't have a business plan. My numbers were pretty puny compared to the type of numbers I had seen from other businesses pitching on the show. But I went for it. Kicked in to high gear. Rushed to have a special box designed to send samples to California. I was not polished. I was all over the place. I had no experience shipping in warm temperatures, so I'm sure the product was melted when it was delivered. Fancy Free was not selected for the second phase of testing. But I did not get discouraged. I used that experience as a lesson. I took that lesson and got to work.

Fast forward to June 2016, a second Shark Tank casting. No call back. Then in August 2017, an application to pitch to Betamore at Beta City. Yes! Finally, I think this is going to be the one. I go to the workshop they have on creating a pitch. The presenter offered some great insight, maybe you don't need an investor, if you're profitable and small, your efforts can probably be "bootstrapped". No. It's not as secure as having a millionaire back your efforts. Yes. It will take longer. But why give away equity in your company when it's very possible that you can achieve your goals without having to. Needless to say, I did not get selected to pitch my business to an investor at Beta City but I was selected to become a member of iFundWomen's Maryland cohort.

iFundWomen is a platform for women entrepreneurs to encourage and support each other through raising capital to start or grow their businesses. Founded by Karen Cahn during the 2016 Presidential Election, iFundWomen has since raised $700,000 for 120 entrepreneurs. The mission of iFundWomen is to close the funding and confidence gap for female entrepreneurs by working with early stage companies on coaching, brand positioning, and sales strategies, to get them off the ground, and onto "Main Street".

Living in the city, I see all of the disparities of Baltimore. My husband and I chose to purchase a house in the city because we know the solid community is the only thing that can reverse the effects of school to prison pipeline, drug addiction, absentee parents and other challenges our people are experiencing. We decided that we wanted to set an example and be the change in our city that we want to see. Our goal is to play a major role in rebuilding our city and the sense of community that we once held so near and dear to our hearts. With help for iFundWomen supporters, I will be able to do just that.

I have a really hard time asking for help publicly, especially monetary help, but I realized that my project was bigger than me so I got over myself. I am offering rewards for every giving level. This is where building community begins. If you offer a helping hand, I am in a better position to help someone else because you helped me.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Go Farther

I was never much of a teamwork type of person. It's the perfectionist's struggle. No one can do things quite as well as we can so we don't trust them. When I started my career as a medical laboratory scientist, I worked by myself. At night. I could be alone with my thoughts. I didn't have to check behind anyone. I didn't have to check in with anyone. I was responsible for my work only. I did the best that I could and I passed what I didn't finish on to the next shift. I was a high performer. I received stellar reviews and multiple pay increases. No promotions though, but that's a story for another blog.

Fast forward six years, to 2010, I became a manager. I had a team of people looking to me for answers. I had a team of colleagues working along side me. I was also a part of a interdisciplinary healthcare team that combined efforts to make the patient care experience efficient and effective. I did well with my staff. I incorporated their ideas and asked what I could do to make their job better. That was pretty simple because I used to do their job. I knew what

it took. We had similar thought patterns. We were usually on the same page. Working with the interdisciplinary team took some adjusting. For one, I had no idea what a typical work day looked like for most of them. We thought and processed differently. I was used to keeping it simple but it took complicated and time consuming efforts to make minute changes in workflows outside of the laboratory. It was very frustrating but I eventually learned the law of the land. Got better at playing politics. Grew as a leader. And I accomplished things within my 6.5 year tenure that no one before me had done. I retired from that role in good standing with my colleagues and director.

When I started a network marketing business after 3 years in a managerial position, I realized that I could not build success alone. Not in network marketing, that's why it's called "network". LOL! In order for me to be successful, I had to teach others how to duplicate what I did to be successful. That was a very different concept for me. I was a Specialist in Blood Bank. At work, no one else in my department had the same level of expertise in matters of transfusion medicine that I had. And they didn't need to, I was hired because I was the expert in a subject that no one else wanted to learn. No one else could do my job. That is what made me an asset at work. But if I didn't teach my network marketing business partners, my business would surely fail. It changes your perspective on a lot of things. Not just business or work but on life in general.

I started my hair and skin product business very haphazardly. There was no plan in place. I did not
venture into it thinking that one day I could retired from health care to do it full time to build a business in the beauty industry. But here we are. In network marketing, independent business owners are encouraged to invest in personal development. As you grow, so does your business. There is a greater teamwork spirit than any other industry that I've ever worked in. Through personal development, I've learned to focus on improving my natural abilities and hire someone to do everything else. Which means, I need to hire a team if I want to grow my business to it's full potential.

It's not just about unlimited growth potential for my business, it's about giving people an opportunity to hone their own talents as I improve my own. We grow together. We feed off of each other and the business grows effortlessly, just by us focusing on our strengths.

Two and a half years in to this beauty business and I can say that I have grown tremendously as a person, but so has my business. I hired a graphic designer to do my labels. I am not a graphic designer. I pay someone to update my website. I am not a web developer. I pay someone to manage my social media. I am not a marketing guru. I have an assistant who helps keep me organized. I work like a tazmanian devil, I need someone to keep me in line. I pay someone to take my product pictures. I don't have the time it takes to take product pictures and edit them. I pay someone to handle my legal needs. I am not an attorney and Rocket Lawyer doesn't always cut it. I have a business mentor to help me navigate my next steps. I have a cosmetic scientists who helps me determine proper labeling and testing. I have a team who believe in my vision. They are experts in areas that I am not. I trust them. I can focus on what I do best and I know they've got me covered. The evolution of Fancy Free is obvious because of them. I am excited about what the future holds for us. I know I wouldn't be able to go as far as I've gone without them.

Growing a business of any kind is no easy feat. You NEED a team. There is an African Proverb that says "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." Rome was not built in one day. Most empires that rise quickly, crumble even faster. I am not interested in blowing up over night. I have grown to enjoy the process of growth. Some days are better than others but I have my team to lean on. I make sure I talk to someone when I need encouragement. This makes a world of different. I don't I would've quit long ago without them. LOL!

Shameless Plug Alert:

Fancy Free, LLC. is the manufacturer of quality products for hair and skin. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreellc.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sign up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.