Thursday, January 29, 2015

Fancy's Hair Horror Story

Yes. Me and my perfect hair have horror stories. LOL! I'm being dramatic but I was kind of traumatized. Let's start from the beginning.

Bantu Knots
I did not do the big chop. I transitioned. Like straight transition with no weave or anything. My philosophy is that you should enjoy your hair at each phase of growth and naturalness. When I first cut the last inch of my relaxed hair off, I mostly wore my hair as a wash and go. My Go-To product at the time was Kinky Curly. As my hair grew, the twist out became my style of choice. Stay with me, I'm going somewhere with this.

Bantu Knot Out
Like I said before, I don't do much to my hair but I take care of it and make sure it's healthy. Healthy hair weeds. So, now I'm experimenting with different styles for my even longer hair. Well, I have to because a wet twist out, that used to last for about 2-3 weeks, now only lasts for about 1 week. I can push it to 2 weeks but it gets dry really fast and dry hair leads to breakage. And Fancy hair is healthy hair. Lately, I have been blow drying it and styling it in an up do. Here is where the Horror Story begins.....

Sticky Flexi Rod Set
I decided I wanted to try flexirods on my natural hair. Only problem is, I gave my flexirods to my mother and then my sisters lost them. So, here I am all ready to rock and roll with the rods. I had watched the videos, figured out what kind of product I needed. I was ready. Since I didn't have my rods, I decided I would do a bantu knot out. The YouTube girl used flax seed gel and I ain't feel like making that so I looked in my product stock to see what I already had that I could use. Low and behold, I had some Shea Moisture Gel Curling Souffle from when I was experimenting with replacements for Kinky Curly. I was sold when I saw it had flax seed oil in it. Flax seed gel, gel with flax seed oil in it....same thing to me. I whip it out and get to bantu knotting.

Stick Nasty Flexi Rod Set
After 2 days in
Tampa Humidity
The bantu knots are perfect. And I let them out and they LOOKED perfect. However, they felt damp and sticky even though I didn't use that much product. *sigh* We all know that damp and sticky natural hair will never end well. You have 2 choices, push through and deal with it or shampoo it out. I decided to push through. My knot out fell and started to swell as soon as it got a little
warm in the party we went to. I tried to  one more time before I gave in and just bought some flexirods. I didn't add anymore product, just sprayed with a little water. Flexirods looked great. My hair still felt a little sticky but not as sticky as the first day.

Then......we went to Tampa, FL. It was all down hill from there.

After my emergency shampoo
and blow dry.
It was so humid. I could feel my hair swelling as soon as we got off the plane. We had to stand outside to wait for the rental car shuttle. It got bigger. So big that my husband looked
at me and asked if I packed my hair stuff with me. Got to the hotel room. It was just as humid in the hotel room as it was outside. So I whipped out my flexirods, spray bottle, and another archived hair product, Design Essential Defining Creme Gel. I kept my rods in my hair for the car ride to the convention center. It was so humid in the hotel room and outside that my hair was STILL WET when I took my rods out. I got compliments on my hair but I was not happy when I thought about how my hair looked before we arrived in Tampa. So that night, I did the same thing. Rods, spray bottle, product. But this time, I was getting this nasty dirt gunk on my hands while I was rolling it. I was so disgusted. I started plotting how I was gonna shampoo my hair with no hair products or tools.

Finally got it right!
Flexi rods with Shea Moisture
Curl & Style Milk
The next day, I didn't have any form to my style. It was a full on bush. I loves me a bush but it was a sticky, dirty bush. No go. So, I got on google and found me a natural hair stylist. Confirmed my walk-in appointment and go that guck outta my hair. She did a great job with my shampoo and blow dry. Was even open to my instructions when it came
time to style it. Thanks Ms. Nancy!

Moral to the story: Even Fancy has bad hair days. Natural hair is trial and error. Don't be scared. You're not gonna die because you had crazy looking hair. Having a bad hair day, or two, is not the end of the world. Make light of it, wash it, and try again.

Don't be afraid to do something different with your Fancy hair. That's what the Fancy Life is all about, taking chances.

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Thursday, January 15, 2015

What Are You Worried About?

We all love a good Louis Vuitton but a missing head light
is a safety hazard. Should we be worried about that instead?
The African-American community is always being criticized for something. Usually it's for worrying about the wrong things. You know standing in line for Black Friday but not showing up for Parent-Teacher conference night. Up early to get the latest release of Jordan's but not showing up to vote. Mother's criticized for making sure their weave is tight but there's no food in the refrigerator for their kids to eat breakfast before they go to school. There is nothing wrong with want to look nice and to have nice things but when there's no balance and that's your only concern, we need to assess why we are worried about the wrong things.

I'm not sure if there is a simple solution. As I struggle in helping my younger sisters grow into adulthood, I find myself saying the same things to them over and over. "You are not supposed to have what I have right now. I have paid my dues and have worked hard. You are still working. It will happen, just not now." Social media and reality TV have a lot to do with it. We live in a microwave society. Everyone wants instant gratification for minimal efforts. While healthy competition is nice, there is a problem when you go to great lengths just to "out do" someone. I'm "fancy" because that's just me, I don't live my life trying do something bigger than the next person.

Youngsters want the "Fancy Life" but don't want to go through the years of training and hard work to get it. Worrying about what their lifestyle looks like instead of creating a stable foundation to sustain it. Fast money. Fast cars. Lavish lifestyle. Then it all comes crashing down and we're left in a constant state of struggle. It all starts with exposure. Our kids are being exposed to a lifestyle without being exposed to the hard work, sacrifice, discipline and tenacity it takes to get to live that lifestyle. A phrase I like to use is "shooting in the gym". Ask any successful athlete how much time they spend training during the season and off season and they'll tell you "all day". Like, literally 8-10 hours TRAINING!!! The same goes for any career. You gotta put in that WORK to get ahead at whatever you do.

Sean "P. Diddy" or "Puff Daddy" Combs worked for FREE as an intern before he got his shot. That is work without pay. Modern day slavery. LOL! I kid. But he was getting paid in knowledge. Some people are so concerned with being seen in a certain light that they forget that money comes and goes, just like things, but knowledge is the gift that keeps on giving. Did you know that Kim Kardashian was an assistant to many
celebrities before she became one herself? Let that sink in. Kim Kardashian, the lady with the multi-million dollar empire, was an assistant, running errands and picking out clothes BEFORE she became a household name. It does not happen overnight. But if you push through the times that seem like struggle, you will make it and know what it takes to keep it.

Are you worrying about the wrong things? How you're going to pay your credit card bills that are maxed out from purchasing things? Are you focused on being great at all costs? When you are great, no matter what your specialty is, money will come and you will always be able to buy the things you really want to buy. The Fancy Life is the fruit of our labor, we ain't doing this for the "Gram".

Until next time, continue focusing on being great in your Fancy life.

Are you on the verge of breakthrough? Let us help you map out your plan and "do the work" to help you make your life even more "Fancy" than it already is. Text WOODS to 55469.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Husbands Need Wives

How does the saying go? "Behind every good man is an even greater woman." Some feminists may say it should read "beside" instead of "behind". To me, it doesn't matter because marriage is a partnership, the "Ultimate Merger". A woman can be beside, behind, in front of....where ever she is, please believe she is "ghost bossing" her husband's life. Whether it is picking out his clothes, managing his money, nudging him in the direction of better opportunity, or even running his household, she is there. Women are natural nurturers and can nurture the most successful man to even greater heights.

5Linx Explaining Why Men Thrive in Marriage

1. Keeping house.
Yes. There are plenty of men who cook and clean but, let's face it, there aren't many. I'm not saying husbands shouldn't share in household duties or chores. I'm saying that it takes a woman to point out where he could use improvement in these areas. i.e. Cleaning the kitchen versus washing dishes. I have had to explain the difference to my own husband. LOL!

2. Caring for children.
Not to discredit fathers but there is nothing like a mother's love. Mothers literally risk their lives giving birth. No one, besides Jehovah, can say they've done more for you than that. Men need wives to bare the children and help nurture them. Even if it were biologically possible, I don't think men could deal with the discomfort and pain of giving birth. I'm just saying....

3. Replacement mama.
The male ego is fragile. Mothers play an important role in molding their sons, building confidence by accolades and applause. Fathers usually help mold their sons with discipline. When a man leaves his mother and cleaves to his wife, he will be looking to his wife for those same accolades. Whether it's for his lackluster attempt at doing laundry or pulling off the deal of the century with his company, men need their wives to cheer them on just as their mothers did.

4. Organization.
Men typically are not organized, at all. Unless it is related to sports or some hobby they have, they usually do not prepare in advance for anything. Be it a party, food for the week, how to stack the tupperware or a vacation. Men have a tendency to not think about upcoming activities until stuff hits the fan. Then they scramble. Wives are there to put events on their husband's calendar, so they know where they have to be and what time they have to be there. Wives know how much money they will have to put aside for the vacation the husband wanted to take. Wives make sure to purchase extra drinks and hors d'oeuvres and rent extra chairs when they see that the husband has invited an extra 50 people to the party they're having.

5. Reality check.
Just like mothers tell their sons that they are doing a great job, they also tell their sons when they need to do
better. Wives do the same thing. We all have tendencies to get comfortable, it is up to wives to give husbands a quick reality check when they're slacking. Be it in the bedroom, with chores or the boardroom. Jay-Z said it best, "Blue told me to remind you..." along with Bey. We gotta remind deez husbands that we ain't marry no slacker. Get out here in deez streets and make moves. LOL!

Whatever you give a woman, she will multiply and make it better. I am so thankful that I have a loving relationship with my mother-in-law. Her son, my husband, is a great catch but she gladly tells people that I got her son together. A special thank you to all the parents for raising great men who turn into husbands. Another thank you to all the mothers who know when it's time to turn their son over to a wife so that she can help him grow into an even greater man.

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