They MADE That Girl Get A Relaxer

The Fancy Free brand is all about hair and skin products that are free of harsh chemicals but also being Fancy and Free, as a person. That means embracing who you are, especially your natural hair texture. I have no problems with weave and wigs because hair can also be an accessory worn to express how you're feeling that day. But to chemically modify the texture of your hair to make it do something it wasn't designed goes against what I stand for. Again, I do not judge anyone who CHOOSES to do that. After all, it's your hair. However, to tell threaten someone's livelihood because they will not relax their hair is despicable, in my humble opinion me.

So, there's this article that everyone keeps tagging me in. About a young girl competing in the America's Next Top Model franchise in the Carribean, Carribean's Next Top Model, who essentially had to decide between relaxing her hair or being eliminated from the competition. Watch the video: 

What. In. The. World. I have so much to say that I'm speechless. So let me count the ways...

1. FIRST OF ALL, YOU UGLY! I'm sorry but what?!?! Girl, a RELAXER!?!? What happened to a press and curl? I don't need a relaxer to wear my hair straight. What rock have you been living under that you don't know that you don't know that?
2. Where is your heart? This girl is crying over her hair. Not cuz she doesn't want a cut or a certain style but because she doesn't want to expose her hair and skin to harsh chemicals. She. Is. Crying. Real. Tears. What kind of monster are you?
3. As a brown woman in the Carribean, I'm sure you have experienced racism and colorism in your lifetime. Do you remember that? How did that make you feel? Not good, I bet. Hair texture shaming is the same as that. We are JUST becoming comfortable in our own skin and embracing our natural, unadulterated beauty since the beginning of the transatlantic slave trade. Even if YOU are not comfortable with the natural texture of your hair, do not enforce your beliefs on me, especially if they expose me to harsh chemicals. ESPECIALLY since I can wear my hair straight WITHOUT doing that.
4. Unprofessional?!?! Let me tell you something. You are asked this girl to go against everything she believes in. Giving her an ultimatum between standing up for what she believes in and her career. She did not raise her voice. She simply expressed her strong beliefs and stood up for herself. 
5. Naughty?!?! This young lady is a grown woman. Not a child. Speaking up for herself is not considered misbehaving. It's a human right. So, not only are you forcing her to submit to YOUR standard of beauty, but you also want her to succumb to misogynistic/sexist rules of society. Women are supposed to be silent and do as told? Even if it's wrong? Even if they don't agree. Ridiculous. She spoke in calm respectful tones. At least from what I saw from the clip. She was in well within her rights to react the way she did.

I could go on and on but Imma stop at 5 cuz that's when people stop reading anyway. LOL! This whole scene makes me more sad than angry. Just like I feel sad for blatantly racist and hateful people. Our differences in view and beliefs is what makes this world a colorful and enjoyable place. We see thing differently. We operate differently, in different spaces that feel comfortable for us as individuals. Forcing someone to do something that is against their beliefs is just wrong.

For women reading this who prefer to wear their hair straight, hear me loud and clear, YOU DO NOT NEED A RELAXER TO WEAR YOUR HAIR STRAIGHT!  And if your hairstylist tries to tell you that you NEED a relaxer, I'd suggest you get a new stylist. Modern styling tools and hair products straighten hair beautifully without exposing you to chemicals that can eat through an aluminum can.

Ok. That concludes my rant for the day. Remember, that you are a friend of Fancy and she wants you to live Fancy and Free of harsh chemicals. LOL!

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Brain Washed

Disclaimer: I don't watch television. I used to. I want to. I love to be entertained. I just find myself

Amara La Negra

trying to do so much in one day that I look up and it's time to go to sleep. I don't want to be one of those people who says "I don't have time to watch tv." or "I'm too focused to watch tv." I just run out of time at the end of the day. I DO scan social media and have group text with my friends who watch tv.

Love and Hip Hop Miami has me intrigued. Once I'm done with all of my goals for January, I will definitely be sitting down to indulge in that. First of all, the cast has established music artists. Trick Daddy is one of my favorites. While I don't listen to much latin music, Amara La Negra caught my attention. She is beautiful and strong. I know she's strong because she has been in the music industry for many years and remained true to herself. A thick, brown beauty with a flourishing afro. She is popping. But that doesn't stop a producer from trying to tell her that she needs to change her look. Ummm...exsqueeze me? I was so proud of her for standing up for herself. 

You see, I used to be one of those people who thought that you needed straight hair for formal events or when you got "dressed up". Big hair don't care until you're in a gown. Then it's fried, died and laid to the side. LOL! Praise Jehovah for an awakening. Don't get me wrong. If' that's what you prefer, then that's what you prefer. But it's definitely not a requirement. Who decided that edges had to be smooth and pulled tight? Who says that I won't look classy with the same bush I wear everyday? I feel like make up and the wardrobe makes the look, hair is the compliment. Again. My personal preference. 

And the hair accessories really took my

look to the next level. 😍

When planning my wedding vow renewal, my sister's were asking me how I was going to wear my hair after I found my dress and offered suggestions. All of which included straight hair. I told them I was not straightening my hair for this. One of my sister's response was "I don't think a natural style will go with that dress" *clutches pearls* Bish whet!?!? I caught myself and responded in love. This is my day. I am who I am. I like natural styles. I am the natural hair "guru". What I look like wearing straight hair on this special day. I am supposed to be setting an example and paving the way. I will be wearing my hair in a style that does not require straightening, weave or wig. It's what I like. I wore my "natural style" with my elegant gown and looked beautiful. No stressing over maintaining straight hair while on vacation. Hmph! 

For so many years, African American women have been subjected to all kinds of torture trying to make their hair do something it's not designed to do. Leading to scalp sores, damaged hair, baldness, and other issues in extreme cases. For years, we were told that locs were "unprofessional" and got foul looks for wearing our hair in styles that enhances the natural curls instead of trying to tame them. There have been so many news worthy stories of school and policy changes as young girls and women are not only opting out of straight hair and tightly pulled ponytails but we are letting our afros flourish. It's 2018, an afro does not indicate militancy. (I'm sure a lot of the policies about hair were based on the hair style of choice back in the Civil Rights movement and the emergence of Black Power. We see you) We are woke and more powerful now than ever before. We will sue the pants off of any corporation if we find out that we were denied an opportunity because of our hairstyle.

Personal preference is just that. Personal preference. But once you start trying to impose your opinion on me, we have a problem. Let me be me. Whether it's curly, kinky, wavy or straight. Short or long hair doesn't make me more or less feminine, professional or classy. Jehovah made me in his image. I choose to honor Him by not subjecting my hair toxic chemicals and damaging hairstyling techniques. You choose to honor Him in ways that suit you. Different strokes for different folks. But leave me out of your choices and preferences. Now....if you ask my opinion, that's a different story. LOL!

It makes me sad when people think that they HAVE to be something they're not. Elegance does not require straight hair, Mr. Young Hollywood. Elegance comes from within. Like style and grace. An Afro can be just as elegant as a long, flowing hair or a beautifully coiffed up-do. Leave us out of your closed minded view of what is beautiful. Hmph!

Shameless Plug Alert:

Fancy Free Hair & Skin manufactures quality products for hair and skin, as well as provides natural hair consults for women who would like assistance on their natural hair journey. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreehairandskin.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sign up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.

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Fancy's Hair Horror Story

Yes. Me and my perfect hair have horror stories. LOL! I'm being dramatic but I was kind of traumatized. Let's start from the beginning.

Bantu Knots

I did not do the big chop. I transitioned. Like straight transition with no weave or anything. My philosophy is that you should enjoy your hair at each phase of growth and naturalness. When I first cut the last inch of my relaxed hair off, I mostly wore my hair as a wash and go. My Go-To product at the time was Kinky Curly. As my hair grew, the twist out became my style of choice. Stay with me, I'm going somewhere with this.

Bantu Knot Out

Like I said before, I don't do much to my hair but I take care of it and make sure it's healthy. Healthy hair grows.....like weeds. So, now I'm experimenting with different styles for my even longer hair. Well, I have to because a wet twist out, that used to last for about 2-3 weeks, now only lasts for about 1 week. I can push it to 2 weeks but it gets dry really fast and dry hair leads to breakage. And Fancy hair is healthy hair. Lately, I have been blow drying it and styling it in an up do. Here is where the Horror Story begins.....

Sticky Flexi Rod Set

I decided I wanted to try flexirods on my natural hair. Only problem is, I gave my flexirods to my mother and then my sisters lost them. So, here I am all ready to rock and roll with the rods. I had watched the videos, figured out what kind of product I needed. I was ready. Since I didn't have my rods, I decided I would do a bantu knot out. The YouTube girl used flax seed gel and I ain't feel like making that so I looked in my product stock to see what I already had that I could use. Low and behold, I had some Shea Moisture Gel Curling Souffle from when I was experimenting with replacements for Kinky Curly. I was sold when I saw it had flax seed oil in it. Flax seed gel, gel with flax seed oil in it....same thing to me. I whip it out and get to bantu knotting.

Stick Nasty Flexi Rod Set
After 2 days in
Tampa Humidity

The bantu knots are perfect. And I let them out and they LOOKED perfect. However, they felt damp and sticky even though I didn't use that much product. *sigh* We all know that damp and sticky natural hair will never end well. You have 2 choices, push through and deal with it or shampoo it out. I decided to push through. My knot out fell and started to swell as soon as it got a little
warm in the party we went to. I tried to  one more time before I gave in and just bought some flexirods. I didn't add anymore product, just sprayed with a little water. Flexirods looked great. My hair still felt a little sticky but not as sticky as the first day.

Then......we went to Tampa, FL. It was all down hill from there.

After my emergency shampoo
and blow dry.

It was so humid. I could feel my hair swelling as soon as we got off the plane. We had to stand outside to wait for the rental car shuttle. It got bigger. So big that my husband looked
at me and asked if I packed my hair stuff with me. Got to the hotel room. It was just as humid in the hotel room as it was outside. So I whipped out my flexirods, spray bottle, and another archived hair product, Design Essential Defining Creme Gel. I kept my rods in my hair for the car ride to the convention center. It was so humid in the hotel room and outside that my hair was STILL WET when I took my rods out. I got compliments on my hair but I was not happy when I thought about how my hair looked before we arrived in Tampa. So that night, I did the same thing. Rods, spray bottle, product. But this time, I was getting this nasty dirt gunk on my hands while I was rolling it. I was so disgusted. I started plotting how I was gonna shampoo my hair with no hair products or tools.

Finally got it right!
Flexi rods with Shea Moisture
Curl & Style Milk

The next day, I didn't have any form to my style. It was a full on bush. I loves me a bush but it was a sticky, dirty bush. No go. So, I got on google and found me a natural hair stylist. Confirmed my walk-in appointment and go that guck outta my hair. She did a great job with my shampoo and blow dry. Was even open to my instructions when it came
time to style it. Thanks Ms. Nancy!

Moral to the story: Even Fancy has bad hair days. Natural hair is trial and error. Don't be scared. You're not gonna die because you had crazy looking hair. Having a bad hair day, or two, is not the end of the world. Make light of it, wash it, and try again.

Don't be afraid to do something different with your Fancy hair. That's what the Fancy Life is all about, taking chances.

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Black Women And Their Hair

I love being a sistah! Like, I love being a black woman in America. We have our struggles but we are so free to be who we want to be here when you compare our lifestyle to some other cultures. I was blessed to be raised by powerful, motivated, black, female entrepreneurs. My mother named me Iyonna Hazel, after my Aunt Hazel, who treated me more like a grandchild than a great niece. My namesake, Aunt Hazel, was a black woman in the 60's who owned a salon. She owned the building and the business. The beauty industry generates billions of dollars in the United States and it was one of the first industries that allowed black women to partake in making millions. Madame C. J. Walker was the FIRST African-American woman millionaire turned philanthropist, self made in the beauty business selling hair products. I digress....

All of my family who lived in Baltimore worked in Aunt Hazel's salon. I think the name of it was Cosmos, but

Mama Fancy in her college days.
1970 something

we all called it "The Shop". Aunt Hazel's daughter worked at The Shop. My mother apprenticed at The Shop. She paid her way through college by working there as a stylist. My older cousins worked at The Shop, cleaning up, doing laundry, and running errands. Even I worked at The Shop, giving little $5 manicures at the tender age of 8 years old in the summers and on the weekends I spent with my beloved Aunt Hazel. So, I know the inner working of a salon. I grew up in one.

Aunt Hazel has since passed. But not before paying cash to build her retirement home from money made in The Shop and selling her business. I never really understood the advantages I had by growing around these things. I learned hustle and entrepreneurship. I got to listen in on mature conversations that taught me life lessons at an early age. My hair was always done. My hair was always healthy. My hair was always kind of long because of these things. It didn't hit me until I stopped relaxing my hair that black women have a "thing" with their hair.

When I was in graduate school, I worked part time in a salon doing natural hair, mostly braiding and loc maintenance. I was the only one. All the others specialized in "regular" hair styling. We had one stylist who was highly sought after for his weave and styling expertise. He was REALLY good and was usually booked. I was appalled when I would hear the receptionist getting cussed out because he did not have any appointments available. It was so crazy to me. I'd think "Is it that serious?" Apparently, it is. I just could never relate. I honestly felt like we have a serious problem in this society if people are enraged when they can't get a hair appointment or a pair of sneakers for that matter.

Styles Salons
One and only weave for my wedding by the
hair weave killah, Dariel

I got a relaxer when I was 11 because all my friends had relaxers and my mom was straightening my hair anyway, so what was the big deal? This made it easier, right? My mom has Indian in her family, literally. She was Pocahontas in her college years. Perfect brown skin and long flow-y hair down her back, no relaxer. Aunt Hazel churned out perfect bouffants and press & curls for years. That's just what black women did. We straightened and styled our hair. It seemed that a large majority of black women wanted long, flow-y hair and would stop at nothing to get it. Enduring chemical burns on the scalp, burned ears from curling iron or hot comb, hours under the dryer, pulling and tugging so much that the hairline recedes from the tension, and let's not forget the MONEY and TIME spent in the salon. Or basement. Or kitchen. All to achieve something that Jehovah never really intended for us.

If I were meant to have a brown complexion, I'd have a brown complexion. Other than tanning in the summer, I don't invest time and effort into making my skin looking like something it's not. If I were meant to be 6 feet tall, I'd be 6 feet tall. Other than wearing heels, which I do for style and not to look taller, I don't invest time and money in to trying to make myself taller. If my hair was meant to be long and flow-y, it would grow long and flow-y from my scalp. Why did I spend so much time trying to make my hair do something it was never intended to do?

As a "natural", I straighten my hair once a year in the winter. Just because. The rest of the year, I style my hair in it's natural texture. I know what styles work for me and my hair. Even with natural hair, I don't look to make my hair look like someone else's natural hair. I don't do much to my hair, I never did. Even when I had a relaxer, I did a wash and roller set once a week, if that roller set turned out kinda janky, oh well, I would have janky hair for the week. Same with my hair now, I style it bi-weekly and I just make adjustments to the hairstyle as the weeks go on. It's so funny to me that when I think my hair looks crazy, I still get compliments.

When I was 21, I told my mother I was going to stop getting a relaxer. She asked me why. I was a dumb 21 year old, I didn't have a legitimate answer other than I wanted big hair. LOL! So I continued to get relaxers

Wash and go "faux hawk"
After a year of transitioning

for 7 more years. Then I had a talk with my husband and we both decided it was time. Wearing my hair in it's natural texture is a personal choice. Even if you choose to wear your hair straight, with modern technology and advances in products, you don't have to straighten your hair with chemicals. We are all in a place of health consciousness. We are eating healthy, clean and organic. Why put chemicals on your body if you're making a conscious effort not to put them in your body? Just something to think about.

I hurt for black women who look at my hair with admiration and say "I wish I could wear my hair like that?" or "I wish I could go natural?" Who told them that they can't? The reasons I hear make me sad. They don't think they can wear their hair like that to work. Their hair is too nappy. They don't have time to style it. If your job has an issue with you wearing your hair the way it grows out of your head, you probably need to consider a new job. And if they fire you or limit your opportunities because of a choice of hairstyle, they know they will have some class action discrimination cases coming their way. What is nappy hair anyway? My hair seems nappy sometimes too. Usually when it's dry. Look at the products you're putting in your hair, there's probably some form of alcohol in it. Alcohol dries your hair out, making you think it's nappy and unmanageable when it's not. For those who really want to go without relaxers, take a good look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. What are you REALLY afraid of? And just how much time do you spend in the salon again? Oh.

Dry Twist Out after 3 years of being "natural"

All I'm saying is, you are beautiful just the way you are. Your hair is beautiful. Long and flow-y. Short and sleek. Loose curls. Tight curls aka *whispers* kinky. It's all beautiful because it's yours. Own it. Jehovah made you that way. Beautiful and in his image. Do what makes you feel beautiful but do it for you. Going through all those changes to alter your hair doesn't make you anymore beautiful than you already are.

Long, short, curly, kinky, or straight.....live your Fancy Life, embracing who you were meant to be.

Shameless Plug Alert:
Fancy Free, LLC. is the manufacturer of quality products for hair and skin. Our motto is "Keeping you chemical free." Visit our website, www.fancyfreellc.com, to see a full range of our products and services. Sign up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest Fancy Free happenings.

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