Monday, June 29, 2015

Finding Balance - Creating Balance Between Work and Personal Life

Everyone wants to have it all. It is possible but has its challenges. It takes planning, discipline and consistency. Some suggest that you can't have your cake and eat it too. Others feel like you can have it all, just not at the same time. When a person's career is going well, their personal life is usually lacking. When your personal life is on point, you may feel like you have plateaued in business or career. Your business and personal can flourish at the same time.
Here are some tips to help support the balance between work life and personal life.

1. Decide what is important to you.
Personal preference is most important. If you have decided that being successful in business while not abandoning your family in the process is important to you, your actions will be in line with your mindset. The way you work will be in line with your vision.

2. Maintaining balance is not easy but worth it.
While there are creative solutions to every problem, sometimes you will have to make career related sacrifices to deal with household situations. Other times you will have to make personal sacrifices to handle business. Know that you can't do everything every time and will have to make difficult decisions. Being mentally ready for these kinds of challenges makes them easier to handle. Having the right mindset will help you manage them with ease. Be open to compromise and also be ready to make sacrifices to support the vision you have for your life. Never panic. Everything works out in the end.

3. Schedule your down time as diligently as you schedule activities.
Burn out is very common for ambitious people. When trying to do it all, it may seem like there is no time for down time. However, there is time if you schedule it in. Make your schedule so that there is at least one day a week where you have nothing scheduled during the day or nothing scheduled in the evening. If that is not possible, arrange your schedule so that you have one weekend a month that is free. Use it how you want to use it but schedule it in. Your mind and body need rest just as much as they need stimulation.

Decide what is most important to you in life. Know that there are creative solutions to most problems and other times you will have to make tough sacrifices. Be mentally prepared to deal with these kinds of challenges. Most importantly, schedule down time to avoid burn out. Let your mind and body rest so that you can tackle your challenges in a clear head space. Applying these concepts will create a balanced work life and personal life that flourish simultaneously.

Fancy Free LLC helps new people everyday reach their financial and personal goals through mentoring, personal growth and leadership training. Call us at (410) 929-0203 to schedule your complimentary consultation.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Who's Going to Save the Hero?

I am a music head. I LOVE good music. Music gets me through my day. Music gets me through tough times. I can have a whole conversation just by citing different lyrics. I'm not the biggest fan of ballads. I prefer booty popping and trapping music. However, I am a musician deep down inside, so every now and then a slow song will catch my attention. Not often but it does happen. So, the first time I heard "Save The Hero" by Beyonce, it instantly caught my attention. Mainly because I am drawn to music that is in a minor key but then I started to listen to the lyrics and I teared up a lil bit. I may have shed one thug tear, but that's it. Cuz I'm a G and G's don't cry.

What are the lyrics to that song? Let's have a look:

I lay alone awake at night
Sorrow fills my eyesBut I'm not strong enough to cryDespite of my disguiseI'm left with no shoulderBut everybody wants to lean on me.I guess I'm their soldier.Well, who's gonna be mine
[Chorus:]Who's there to save the heroWhen she's left all aloneAnd she's crying out for help.Who's there to save the heroWho's there to save the girl...After she saves the worldAfter she saves the world.
I bottle all my hurt inside,I guess I'm living in lie.Inside my mind each day I dieWhat can bring me back to life?A simple word, a gestureSomeone to say you're beautifulCome find this buried treasureRainbows lead to a pot of gold
I've given too much of myselfAnd now it's driving me crazy(I'm crying out for help)Sometimes I wish someone wouldJust come here and save me...Save me from myself

WOW! That is deep. It really hit home because I my maternal grandmother died of a heart attack while being the care taker for my great grand parents. Not her parents. Her husband's parents. I watched my mother do for everyone else and then have to short change herself because she gave so much. Most women find themselves in this position. We are givers and nurtures. It's in our genetics. We are more than willing to put our own hopes, dreams and desires on the back burner so that we can support our children, husband, family, friends, community and anyone in need. 

I found myself beginning to walk in the same footsteps of my mother and grandmother. Sacrificing to see smiles on everyone else's face until one day it hit me that I was not smiling. I was not doing the things I wanted to do so that I could make sure everyone else had what they wanted and needed. Although I did those things with love, I recognized the sacrifice that no one else could see because I always made it look so easy. *adjusts crown* So when I didn't feel like it was appreciated I would go OFF!!! Like cussing people out and cutting them off. A protection mechanism of sorts. Yes. Very extreme but it seemed healthy to me......until I talked to my therapist about it. LOL!

Guess who saved the hero after she saves the world. A therapist. I learned that my "crown syndrome" made me feel obligated to go out of my way for people that I care about even at times when those same sentiments weren't being reciprocated or even really appreciated. Therapy made me realize that it is perfectly fine for me to "worry about myself" and that I could not help anyone if I wasn't happy with my own life.

There is a reason that you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, in the event of emergency. How can you save anyone if you can't breathe? You can't. Save yourself. You are responsible for yourself, hero. Get in therapy. Therapy is like the best thing ever. They are legally obligated to keep aaaaallllll your secrets. LOL! Learn your limits. Don't feel guilty about saying "no". "No" is a complete sentence.

Yes. Life comes at you fast. Sometimes things can get overwhelming even when you are taking care of yourself. Crying in itself is a sort of therapy. Let it out, in private, wipe your tears, then get back to business. You can't save yourself or the world if you spend too much time crying about it. LOL!

I say all of this to say, Fancy is trying to save you from yourself. You can be the hero. We need more heroes and heroins in this world. Just make sure you aren't saving everyone and losing yourself. Save yourself. Save the world. Cry when you get overwhelmed. Fix your crown. Fasten your cape. And get back to saving.

Conflict Resolution - Four Things To Think About When Dealing With Conflicts

People are different. Different ways of thinking make the world a great place to live. How boring would life be if everyone were the same? The way we think dictates the way we live our lives and the things we create. A group of people can have a common goal but each person in the group may think of a very different plan to reach that same goal. When every plan or idea is not up for consideration, we find conflict in the group. Conflict can completely stall a project if the parties involved cannot resolve it. Here are some things to consider when trying to resolve a conflict in any kind of relationship.
1. Want to resolve the issue.
If you go into a situation looking for a solution, you will find one. Don't be so dead set on defending your own interests that you forget about the common goal. Your mindset will decide the outcome.
2. Listen to understand, not to respond.
Innately, we have our own interests in mind and easily get defensive when we feel someone is attacking our point of view. It is important to listen to what someone is really saying and try to understand them. If you find yourself thinking of your next point while someone is explaining themselves, take a step back. Process what they have said before you respond. You are probably in defense mode. We were given two ears and one mouth so that we can listen more than we talk.
3. There are different ways to arrive at the same answer.
Just because you have carefully plotted out your plan of attack does not mean that someone else's carefully plotted out plan is not as effective. Keep in mind that someone else's way can work just as well as your way. Knowing this can help you be more open to finding creative solutions. If it works, it works. Be open to trying something different.
4. It's not always about you.
If you find yourself in a space where you feel you cannot resolve the conflict, take a step back and look at the big picture. If someone appears unreasonable, it is very likely that they are lashing out about something else that has nothing to do with the situation you are trying to resolve. Sometimes people deflect their personal issues on to people close to them. Home issues can manifest at work. Conflict at work can turn into an argument at home. Sometimes we deflect and don't even realize it. If you find yourself unable to compromise or unwilling to understand, you could be deflecting. If someone is unwilling to listen and work with you to find a solution for a common goal, do not take it personal, it's probably because of something else totally unrelated and you're just getting the short end of the stick. Take a break and revisit the issue later.

There is no problem too big that cannot be resolved. There are few things that must happen to resolve conflict. All parties must make up their minds that they want to find a resolution. Realize that there is more than one way to reach the same goal. Listen to everyone to understand their point of view. Don't take it personal when someone does not have a favorable response to your ideas, it could have nothing to do with you.

Fancy Free, LLC finds great joy in helping people reach their financial and personal goals in all areas of life. Call us at (410) 929-0302 to schedule your complimentary consultation.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Establishing a Relationship - Steps To Foster Lasting Relationships

A relationship is a state of being connected. Every person that we cross paths with leaves an impression on us as we do to them. In business, they say big part in success is "not what you know but who you know." That saying is only half-true, if someone knows you and you do not have a good relationship with them, that can hurt you way more than them not knowing you at all.
Early in life we start meeting people and forming relationships. As adults, we are who we are but we still need people and relationships to survive. Here are some steps to help you set up positive relationships with people you meet.
1. Smile.
We only get one first impression, so make it a good one. Smiling doesn't hurt anyone. Even if you feel bad or stressed, smiling can also help you. The law of attraction is very real. If you seem happy and inviting, people will want to get to know you.
2. Listen when people talk.
All people are important and can add value to your life. Sometimes people talk to vent and sometimes they want advice. No matter what they want, you make them feel important by really listening to what they are saying. People will forget what you said and even what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Listening is part of making them feel good.
3. Honor your word.
Do what you say you're going to do, no matter what it is. Communicate if you aren't able to fulfill your promise. Honoring your word shows reliability. Being reliable goes a long way, in business, friendship and romantic relationships.
4. Always be honest.
Sometimes it's hard to tell the truth when you think the truth is going to hurt the person or make the person see you in a negative light. However, telling the truth tells the person that you are dealing with that you respect them. If the truth is hurtful, try to find words to express it that soften the blow. When the person gets over the hurt, they will appreciate your honesty. Honesty breeds trust in relationships.
5. Hold yourself accountable.
We are all human. No one is perfect. Sometimes, we make mistakes. Apologies are necessary to move forward with the relationship. If you are wrong, admit that you are wrong and apologize. Accountability is always better received than defensiveness.
Establishing relationships is a challenge but can almost always be beneficial to both parties. When meeting new people, smile at them. Listen to people when they talk. Really listen. Be a reliable person that honors their word. Honesty is the best policy and accountability is always well received.

Fancy Free, LLC helps people reach their financial and personal goals through mentoring, personal growth and leadership training everyday. Call us at (410) 929-0302 to schedule your complimentary consultation.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Mentoring - Finding A Mentor And Benefiting
The dictionary defines a mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor. Everyone should have a mentor,
maybe even multiple mentors. No matter the area of life you are working to improve, seeking advice from someone with more experience than you is always beneficial.

1. A mentor is experienced.
The age of your mentor does not matter because age is not always an indicator of experience levels. Someone younger than you may have accomplished great things and can help you along the way to your goals. If you are looking marital advice, someone who has never been married, even if they are older than you, cannot mentor you in that area of life because they have never experienced marriage.

2. Make sure you can trust your mentor.
It is important that your mentor is trustworthy and reliable. Look at their behavior patterns and talk to people who work with your mentor. Can you trust someone's advice if they don't honor their word? Look at some of the success stories of other mentees. If your mentor can help them, he or she can most certainly help you. Trusting your mentor will give their advice more merit. Your mentor wants your success as badly as you do. When you trust your mentor, you know that listening to them is to your benefit.

3. Do what the mentor tells you to do.
When talking to someone seasoned in the subject you are learning about, listen to what they say and consider everything your mentor recommends. Those recommendations come from lessons learned after making countless mistakes on their journey to success. They will help you reach your end goals faster. You won't spend valuable time learning from your own mistakes. Your journey is more efficient because you are making decisions based on lessons someone else made instead of your own missteps.

4. Successful people are passionate.
The average successful person loves to talk about what they do because they are passionate about it so they become mentors to those who have reached out for guidance. There is a genuine wish to help. This form of philanthropy is more valuable than giving money alone.

If you are already successful and are not mentoring the next generation, seriously consider it. Not only will you add value to someone else's life by helping them fulfill their dreams, mentoring offers just as much enrichment to the mentor as it does to the mentee. If you are venturing off into new territory in career, business, or life in general, forming a relationship with a mentor is one of the first things you should do. Watching someone in their element and taking things in can inspire you to create bigger things than you ever imagined. A mentor will help you clarify your goals and help you create a fool-proof plan to get what you want out of life.

Fancy Free, LLC. helps everyday people reach their financial and personal goals through mentoring, personal growth and leadership training. Call us at (410) 929-0302 to schedule your complimentary consultation.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Excuses - How To Self-Sabotage By Making Excuses
Making excuses for why you don't have what you want in life does not get you any closer to having it. The best way to not be successful is to find a reason not to do something or make excuses for why you cannot do it. Here are the most common excuses people make.

"I forgot"
In the age of technology, there are multiple ways to remind yourself of something important. There are calendars that sync with your email as well as your smart phone. You can program alerts, notifications and reminders to go off at pre-selected times. Then there is always the good old-fashioned planner. If you have to get it done, write it on your planner. Set your alerts to tell you in time increments that allow you time to arrive to your destination in a timely fashion. If you have the money, hire a personal assistant to help you with those kinds of things.

"I don't have time"
If it's important to you, you will make time. Whether it is waking up early or going to bed late, making time for what is important to you is the only way to get it done. Even if you can only spare 30 minutes, that is 30 minutes of making progress.

"I don't have the money."
Just like making time, you will find money for what is important to you. In some cases, you may not have access to the total amount of money needed for something. However, there is always a work around. There are cheaper options. You can sell some unused items around your house. You can pester that person who owes you money. You can also borrow. There is always money for something you see the value in. Be honest with yourself and ask if that is a good enough excuse for not pursuing whatever it is that you think you don't have the money for.

"I didn't know."
If you have a smart phone or access to the internet, you have access to all the information you could need right at your fingertips. There is no reason to not know anything. The real reason you don't know is that you did not care to find out. There are plenty of free resources available. It's just a matter of deciding to tap into them.

"I'm scared."
Yes, stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something different is scary. But what are you really scared of? Uncertain death? The reality is most things that make you uncomfortable are not putting you at risk of losing your life. Stepping out of your comfort zone will only allow you to grow. Experiences mold you into a well-rounded person.

Success is the result of making intentional actions toward your goals. Sometimes there are legitimate reasons for why you cannot do something. Most of the time, you're just making excuses. There are many tools available to you to make sure you remember what you're supposed to do. You will make time and find money for things that you see value in. The internet and public library are at your disposal for free. Take the time to use them and find information you need. Don't be scared to do anything out of your norm, you can only benefit from the experience. No one ever created a success story by staying in their comfort zone. Stop making excuses and start making things happen.

If you are ready to give up excuses and make some new things happen in your life, Fancy Free, LLC. is here to help you do just that. Call us at (410) 929-0302 for your complimentary consultation that could be life changing.