Friday, September 16, 2011

I Want It All

For us, 2010 was a trying but fruitful year. While my husband and I had our ups and downs, as in any relationship, we were blessed with a beautiful, new home. We call it our dream home. However, buying a house was not in our 5 year plan. So the result of us buying our new home without preparation and planning was that we were broke. We've struggled financially before, but this was a new kind of broke we had never experienced before. It was a humbling experience for which we are thankful. But there are side effects when you go through this type of experience. Now that we are beginning to recover, financially, it's so hard to focus on paying those bills that accumulated in your financial disparity when you just want to buy EVERYTHING!!!!!
Things I want:
Boots, handbags, coats, shoes, jeans, jewelry, watches, artwork, chaise lounges, a new computer, an iPad, the iPhone 5, new cordless phones, lavish vacations, my custom closet, a fly 4WD truck, new comforter sets.....I could go on forever. I think I made my point.
Things WE need:
A pool cover, space heaters, roof repairs, new doors in the solarium, a few new windows, phone lines, a lawnmower, new wiring on the garage door opener, downspouts, water bill, car insurance, etc. Blah, blah blah! All boring, non-fun stuff.
The term "feast or famine" fits well in our situation. We've been in famine for longer than we've ever experienced before, we are anxious for a feast. We are being patient and appreciate our blessings......but I WANT IT NOW!!!
Ok. Rant over. LOL!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Beefing with Beyonce`

I consider myself to be a Bey Stan, but here is my personal beef. I used to be Aaliyah but since she has passed I've become Beyonce`. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I own EVERY tour DVD and CD starting from Destiny's Child first LP released in 1998. I usually make it my business to learn ALL of the choreography so that I can perform at local night clubs, house parties, or just home in the mirror. So you can only imagine how sad it made me when I realized that life decisions requiring adjustments in our household budget meant that I had to forego seeing Beyonce` in the flesh for both "B-Day" and "I am...Sasha Fierce" tours. I have the DVDs but still....

Now that things are coming together, my husband and I are recovering from our financial sacrifices (refer to previous blog entries for details) it was perfect timing for us to purchase VIP treatment tickets for the "IV" tour. This would make up for missing the other tours and be a treat for all of our accomplishments and sacrifices. I had my pennies all rolled and ready to go for "IV". I was a little suspicious when the tour dates weren't released with the album and even more suspicious when she did her intimate shows in NY. Mainly because she usually does those intimate shows as her world tour winds down. Yet, I was still prepared to see my Bey for the "IV" tour, only to have my dreams smashed to smithereens on Sunday when she announced that she was with child. Now I understand that she was ready to start her family, but we, yes WE, had plans.

For me, it feels like finding out your childhood friend is pregnant AFTER you have planned a big, extravagant vacation to Bora Bora followed by a back packing journey across Europe for next year. Which explains the lag time in posting my rant. I had to get myself together. I mean, you can still go on the vacation but it won't be the same without your sister from another mister. I would be excited about my expectant neice or nephew but sad about that fact that the plans we had are now null and void.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know what you're thinking, selfish. But it's only human nature to be a little self centered. I'm so happy for her and Jay, I really am, but the timing is all off. Being a planner, I can't see the strategy behind the timing of her pregnancy. Let's break this down.
1. Beyonce` and Jay JUST released the most critically acclaimed albums of their careers.
2. She won't be able to tour.
3. He won't be able to focus on tour because he's gonna want to be with his pregnant wife.
I just don't get it. I pray to Jehovah God that this is a strategic plan to leave us thirsty so that when she comes back post-partum, she will knock our socks off with music even more heart felt than before and performances that cannot be surpassed. I mean, she WILL have at least a year to work on material. Maybe she will even surprise us with some surprise apperances on the "Watch The Throne" tour.
And to think I was cheap when buying our "Watch The Throne" tickets in preparation for Bey. She owes us for this one....big time.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Our Work Is Done

This past weekend, my family moved one of my younger sister's in to her dorm at college. Although she's in Greensboro, NC at North Carolina A&T surrounded by family, literally, a small part of me cringes at the thought of one of my baby girls "fending" for herself. I feel like they are my children, as much as they are my parents' children. You see, with all of the washing bottles, changing diapers, braiding hair, endless babysitting, trips to the movies, weekends hanging out, talks about boys/sex, attitude adjustment lectures, coaching to make independent choices, I feel like I had a hand in raising them.
They turn 18 years old tomorrow and they have turned out to be great young women. And although I feel like we have set them up with all of the equipment to succeed and flourish, there is always a small part that thinks they will lose the instructions or forget the keys at home. If this is what it feels like as a sister, I can't imagine what it will be like when I send my own little chickadees off to college in 20 years or so. Nevertheless, I close my eyes and push them out of the tree because they should, indeed, know how to fly by now.
I pray that all of our talks and chanting "Boys are dumb!" stick with them as they enter the next phase of life. *sigh* We will see how these first semester grades look. LOL!

Friday, July 22, 2011


Since July 20, 2011, Baltimore City has been experiencing a heat wave. So today, I decided to take a different route to work in order to pick up a Mocha Frappe` from McDonald's instead of having my usual hot tea or coffee. I thought this was a pretty good idea, considering it was 88 degrees at 7:30am.
I digress, as I approached my job from a different angle, I noticed a building that my company had been scheduled to demolish by June 30 as an effort to make our campus appear more welcoming and obvious. I will conclude that they are running a little behind schedule considering that today's date is July 22. The reason I even paid attention to it was because the demolition of this building was the topic of "Break Room Discussion" yesterday. The discussion went as follows:
Co-Worker 1: When are they supposed to tear that building down?
Co-Worker 2: I THOUGHT by the end of June. I guess they are running behind schedule.
Co-Worker 3: What is so hard about tearing a building down? Just get a wrecking ball and wreck it.
*laughter from all three*
The discussion got me thinking about everyday life and how everyone claims to have "haters" nowadays.
For those who have true haters, you have to take it as a compliment. Tearing someone down is easy just like demolishing a building, way easier than using that energy to build something of their own. Their negative efforts are a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Be it envy or low self-esteem, haters hate what you represent, not you.
My Daddy's response when I would complain about something being hard was "If it were easy, everyone would be doing it." Meaning, demolition is easy, building is the hard part. So brush your shoulders off, keep going, continue building your empire. Don't you pay those haters no never mind. Remember, you have to have built something in order for someone to try to demolish it.
God bless.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Cool Parent Guidelines

One of my bossy aunts is in town for a while and is staying at my house. As I listen to her yell at her grandkids about playing the instruments in our Music Room AFTER I told her it was ok for them to do so. I got to thinking about the kind of parent I want to be.
In August, I will be 31 years old and I don't have any children yet. Biological children anyway. My younger siblings are 13 years my junior, so it's safe to say I helped raise them. In contrast to how my mother raised us and similar things I've observed in my family in regards to raising children, I don't want to be the "fusser". It seems that all of the women in my family fuss and yell when trying to communicate with their kids. I've always hated it but I realized there is a better way when watching my mother in law interact with her teenage students and my sister in law interact with her 5 year old son. It's a stern but fun loving approach.

1. Let kids be kids and have fun.
This rule implies that they aren't endangering themselves and others. So what if they make a mess or a lot of noise.  Have them help you clean up when they're done and learn to ignore noise.
2. Ask for help. Don't demand.
You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Not that you really want to catch flies but I think asking a kid to help you in the kitchen or with yard work is more effective than screaming "Wash these dishes!" at the top of your lungs. They become a part of a team and don't feel like "hired help".
3. Listen, don't lecture.
Having open communication with your kids will help you understand their point of view and hopefully, allow them to actually listen to what you have to say. I know as a teenager, I tuned out all of the lectures about why we have to fold laundry as soon as it's dry.
4. Be fluid with your rules but maintain the rules.
As adults, we have a certain way we like to do things and a certain way we like things to be done. We have to be patient with kids as they figure things out for themselves. If the kid has logical reasoning, go with their way. Being rigid doesn't get us anywhere.
5. If it's funny, they don't get in trouble.
Now this will be a Woods Estate Rule. Apply at your own risk. If my kids break a rule, but in their explanation, I can laugh about it, they probably won't get in trouble.

My husband and I are fun, silly, big kids at heart. I guess that's why kids in our lives call the Woods Estate the "Fun House". I hope that keeps us young. I pray that if we are blessed with children, they will be the same way. I know that children keep you young and can stress you out at the same time, so I pray that creating fun times will reduce the stressful times.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

The Simple Things

Although my friends call me Fancy, I'm a pretty simple girl. I like nice things but I'm easy to please. Does that even make sense? The people who know and love me completely understand. Here's a list of simple things that make me happy.
1. McDonald's Fruit and Maple Oatmeal
2. McDonald's Hot Fudge Sunday...with nuts please!
3. Sunbathing in my backyard, no extravagant vacation needed.
4. Riding public transportation
5. Andre`champagne
6. The Flea Market
7. Making up dances as my husband plays the drum
8. Grilled in the husk corn on the cob
9. Burnt-on-the-grill hot dogs served on a grilled hot dog bun topped with onions and mustard
10. Red Velvet cake with cream cheese icing
Now that I'm looking at this list, it seems that most of the things that make me happy are food items. LOL! 
I digress, in this time of economical strife, my husband and I have decided to buckle down and minimize our consumer debt. For us, that means enjoying the "Simple Things" more often instead of indulging expensive date nights as we had grown accustomed to doing. Having homemade breakfast in our backyard while enjoying an Andre` mimosa is more desirable than the expensive brunch we used to partake. Take the time to enjoy the simple things, you'll save LOTS of money. Hehe

Monday, June 27, 2011

Everyone Needs a "No Man"

The comedian Kevin Hart said it best on last night's BET Award Show, "Everybody needs a "No Man". The "No Man" is that true friend who tells you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear. For example:
"Your breath hasn't been smelling right lately, whens the last time you saw a dentist?"
"That dress may have looked good on you about 25 lbs. ago. Girl, you know you're too big to be wearing that!"
"You slept with all them people in a drunken stupor?!?! You need to go get tested."
"No, that was not the right thing to do/say, you need to go apologize"
"You know this rug is too small for this room. You need to buy a bigger one."
I could go on but I think you get the point.
My husband is usually my "No Man", but as a smart man he has learned that he has to be gentle with the "No" news. Sometimes he is too gentle when I need him to just tell me the truth. Anyway, I had a "No Man" situation this weekend. I have been completely natural for about 2 months now. While I love my Afro, I wanted to try something a little different.
So on Friday, I warned my husband that I was going to try something different with my hair. As a "retired" natural hairstylist, I had styled many natural coifs and was going to try one of the popular styles on my own hair. I went and purchased a new hair product, washed my hair, and went to town.
While the end result was beautiful, well moisturized, two-strand twists, I wasn't quite that excited about how this new style looked on me, with my slender face, considering my hair isn't that long right now. But my faithful "No Man" insisted that it was "Cute" and the style just needed to "Grow on him". So we went to the baseball game together with my new hairstyle. I only got a few compliments, not as many as I usually get on my hair, which pushed me in the direction of "This style isn't for me". I just didn't feel comfortable or fly with non-big hair.

On Sunday night, 2 of my friends came over to watch the BET Awards with me. Both of them are opinionated and honest young ladies. The first friend arrived and quickly noticed my hair. Her initial comment "Your hair looks cute, but it's good "weekend" hair. You don't plan on wearing it to work like that, do you?" The second friend, who has been my hairstylist through my transition to natural, instantly called me "Lil' Tank Tank". Thank God for my "No Men". Can you imagine how I would've ruined my "fly, natural chic" reputation at work, coming in with this so-so looking hair?

My "No Men" confirmed what I was feeling. As a result, I included into my morning routine taking my beautiful, well moisturized, two-strand twists OUT. And the results? Well, let's just say, I've been compliments all morning on my hair.

The lesson, be real with the people you love. Don't let them walk around looking crazy. Also, keep real people around you. If the people in your circle have never given you constructive criticism, they probably aren't your real friends. No real friends = you end up being the one walking around looking crazy.
Be real and God bless.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

2 Steps Forward

Yesterday, was a sobering day. I found myself giving a few words of encouragement to a friend in regards to making the sacrifice of leaving everything that is familiar in order to move forward in her career. My husband and I decided we needed re-evaluate our plan to pay off consumer debt. I also had a talk about "doing the right thing" with another friend when it came to dating Mr. Wrong who happens to be so convenient.
Often, I encourage people to make a temporary sacrifice in order to move forward and actually accomplish a goal. Be it weight lose, career, financial, or relationship goals. Sometimes, you have to take one step back in order to take two steps forward. While it may mean you giving up conveniences that you feel you deserve because you've worked so hard to get where you are in life, sometimes you have to temporarily move away from family and friends for a couple of years, not have your daily dose of chocolate chip cookies, be without Direct TV for a couple of months, or go a significant amount of time without male companionship. If you meet your goals in the end, the sacrifice was worth while. Right?
It's all relative, we fast and pray in order to gain spiritual clarity. Isn't it only right to sacrifice in other areas when you want to meet the associated goals? For my husband and I, not being able to indulge in reality TV for the summer and fall months is a small price to pay if we can testify to being free of consumer debt by the end of Fall 2011. In the grand scheme of things, we all know that when you give a little you're guaranteed to get a lot.
With that being said, don't be afraid to make a sacrifice and take one step back in order to make significant progress toward a much desired goal.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Clearing the Trees

On November 30, 2010, my husband and I closed on, what we now call the "Woods Estate". Considering the entirety of the home buying process was completed in the fall/winter, we had not given much consideration to landscaping. Then spring arrived. Flowers bloomed, buds sprouted into leaves, bees started buzzing and we took a look at the "Woods Estate" in the spring. Sadly, we realized that the home we were investing so much money in for renovations was hidden by the trees and shrubs that had been neglected for so long by the previous owners. So, I decided to call the tree removal company.
Our trusty tree expert came out, gave is expert advice and ultimately.....the dreaded estimate. My husband and I got into a heated debate about the cost but I assured him that our home would have much more curb appeal and we would be THAT much more happy with it's appearance. He conceded to my requests and I scheduled the tree removal. I also had our Orkin representative on my side, who had suggested removing trees that were close to the side of the house to prevent mice and rats from seeking refuge so close to our living space. On top of everything else, there were some trees in our backyard that were emitting this God awful smell and we couldn't figure out what it was, except that it was coming from the tree.
Fast forward, our tree removal appointment arrives. I greet the crew and begin instructing them on which trees stay, which trees go, and which trees will be transplanted. I go to the kitchen to pack my lunch and I hear the chainsaws. I walk to the living room and I am amazed by how much light is pouring into our front sun room after only 2 trees were removed. It was like a breath of fresh air. I began to get so excited about how much natural light we would get once all 17 trees were removed...which got me thinking.
Sometimes we hold on to things, relationships, and situations because they've have just always been that way. These things we hold on to can become eye sores if left unattended. Without proper pruning and care, they become over grown and interfere with your life rather than enhance it. Un-pruned issues that reside too close to you can be a hiding place for rodents to burrow their way in, causing an even bigger nuisance. Sometimes there is an undeniable stink about a situation you're in and you will reveal some repair needed that was once hidden.
As I transition through different phases of my life, I realize that things, people, relationships, situations, etc. that I once held near and dear are no longer that way. Instead of trying to hold on to them for comfort sake, I've decided to clear them out of my life to make way for natural light and take in a fresh look at life. Initially, the process is hard and may result in internal unrest, but once you see what a big difference removing a few can do, you are anxious to clear the rest.
I look forward to the end of my work day, when I can go home and actually SEE my home from the street instead of wondering what it looks like behind all of those trees. Yes, I'm sure we will discover even more exterior scraping and painting that needs to be done, but such is life. Better to catch it now and fix it early in the game than to wait until it needs to be replaced because it beyond the scope of repair.
Clear the overgrown trees from your life. Inhale the fresh air. Take in the natural light. Be sure to prune the remaining trees. Sometimes we need to cut things off, in order to reveal our true beauty. God wants it this way.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Lesson Learned

So, after dealing with some family drama. I have come up with a list of life lessons that I took away from the situation. Afterall, what is the point of going through drama if you can't learn anything from it?
1. Never lower your standards:
If you have high standards for how you expect people to treat you, maintain them. You most likely have these standards because you treat people with these same high standards.
2. Be willing to accept your role and apologize:
Have your humble pie with ice cream, but have it. An apology can go a long way, especially when it's genuine. The blame game won't get you anywhere.
3. Accept that everyone does not see things the way you do:
God created us all differently. Imagine that! Any situation can be interpreted a number of ways. Be open to the other party's view.
4. Everything isn't for the internet:
We all take to social network to vent or express our feelings. People are always watching, even when we aren't expecting them to be. If you must vent, be as vague as possible.
5. Stand your ground:
After all is said and done. Harsh words are exchanged, tears flow, and apologies are exchanged....or in my case, not exchanged. Stand up for what you believe is right and continue to do what is right. Righteousness will prevail in the end.
6. Don't take everything personal:
People's actions toward you, while they may effect you significantly, aren't always a direct result of how they feel about you. Even in situations when they are, brush it off and keep it moving. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you rattled, if that was their intention.
7. Be honest:
No matter how much the truth hurt, a lie that is revealed later does MUCH more damage. Your integrity follows you way longer than the hurt you cause.
8. Realize that everyone isn't for you and doesn't like you:
This can also apply to family. Accept it and move on.
9. God gives you what you need when you think you're missing something:
Be it people, money, things, or resources, God is always right on time. When someone let's you down, don't worry, He's got you.
10. Pray about it:
While it's the simplest advice and seems easy, it can be the hardest thing to do before reacting when you in the middle of going through a situation. However, in any situation, usually the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do. Remember, righteousness always prevails.

You learn about yourself when confronted with strife. The more strife, the bigger the lesson. Sometimes we look and the negative in a complicated situation. I like to think that God is preparing me for something big as we naviate through one situation and into another. No rest for the weary but usually the weary are very wise.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Your Comfort Zone

You know what a "comfort zone" is, don't you? It's where you feel comfortable. Be it a job, an activity, a hairstyle, style of clothing, a relationship....I could go on. You get the idea, a comfort zone is were you feel safe. Sometimes being comfortable can hold you back from developing into your full potential.
In the past 3 years of my life, I have been put in multiple situations where I had to step outside of my comfort zone. First it was financial comfort, I put myself in a position of financial "discomfort", so to speak, in order to advance my career. While in the midst of it, it seemed horrible and unbearable but that one calendar year flew by and now we're back on track...financially, anyway. My teaching position, was total leap of faith. I had NEVER imagined myself as a professor, but I stepped out of my comfort zone and, while it's challenging at times, I actually enjoy teaching. Plus, it provides extra funding for my shoe habit. I gave up my long, sleek, infamous "wrap" hairstyle for a wild, natural bush. My new gig, I didn't have any supervisory experience per se, outside of didactic training, but I stepped out of my comfort zone of being an irresponsible bench technologist and jumped in head first as a manager. Now I'm a BAWSE, as Rick Ross says. On my own intuition, I would have NEVER imagined that I would live in the mansion we purchased back in November 2010. I wasn't so sure we could afford it but, in the end it all worked out and we no live in our dream home because we stepped outside of our comfort things.
Matters concerning money, jobs, and homes are things we deal with frequently. But this past weekend was the culmination of me not only stepping out of my comfort zone but totally stepping into a realm where I had NO IDEA what I was doing. I'm talking about planning a BIG event. Not a little party at my house, we're talking a venue, obtaining zoning permits, liquor licenses, vendors, etc. This event was called "Fashioned for Education" and it was a fundraiser for my high school alumnae association. While planning, I hit plenty of speed bumps and discouraging set backs, but I kept on trudging through. In retrospect, there were many a thing I wish had been different or better, however the overall feedback from attendees was positive. The older alumnae were impressed and the alumnae president is now excited about next year's "Fashioned for Education" fundraiser, confirming her decision to appoint me to the fundraising chair.
In the case of "Fashioned for Education" I learned a lot. I learned about myself, who my REAL friends and supporters are, how selfish people are, how selfLESS people are, etc. All of these life lessons I learned because I stepped outside of my comfort zone.  It was one of THE biggest challenges/risks I've ever taken on in my life. Who knew the fundraising chair that never planned an event a day in her life, could pull together such an elegant event? I, by no means, take all of the credit. I had PLENTY of help and input from people who knew what they were doing, but it was my initiative and creativity. I didn't know I had it in me....but now I do.
Look out world, Fancy is coming for you. I think I'm going to make it my business to do something different and new at least once a year. My series of life events has taught me that NOTHING bad can come from abandoning your comfort zone. You may not be a complete success, but you always learn valuable lessons. A wise man once told me that "Anything worth doing is going to be hard, but if it were easy everyone would be doing it."
Learn something about yourself..step outside of your comfort zone.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Looking Out

We've all experienced it, a woman in your life who gives unsolicited advice. Be it from a mother, aunt, older co-worker, church lady, it comes from a good place but it's still unsolicited. As a younger woman, I would be the giver of unsolicited advice but sometimes it didn't go over so well because I had yet to master the art of candor. Although, my advice was from a good place, it wasn't always received positively. In turn, for some years, I just kept my mouth shut when my opinion was not asked of me.
However, as I've live more and make decisions, I often find myself in a position where my advice or input is sought after. I guess people are watching me and are encouraged by the direction I'm headed in. I was once told that my spiritual gift was the ability to influence others. I was young then but now I understand it and try my best to put my gift to good use. As I mature, I have become that woman who gives unsolicited advice. I haven't gotten any negative feedback, so far. I hope it's because I am mastering the art of candor. LOL! I realized that the givers of unsolicited advice really care about you.
Sometimes an outsider can see something in you that you can't see in yourself. I have benefited from unsolicited advice. I just knew I was built to be a boss but the education coordinator of my last program saw the "teacher" in me. I would have NEVER went into teaching had she not mentioned it. While I don't claim to be the best professor ever, my students flourish on their rotations after being under my instruction. To here good reports about my students is way more fulfilling than any policy or procedure I can put into place as a boss. Having a close friend tell me that it would be ok not to marry a long time boyfriend jogged my brain and got me thinking. Although I never said anything to her about my relationship status, she could see that I was unhappy. I, in turn, eventually broke up with that guy and ended up marrying my soulmate. That one little sentence worth of unsolicited advice got me on the path to happiness.
My mother used to tell me that people who don't care will talk about you, while people who do care will talk to you. If your heart is telling you to talk to someone about something, talk to them. If someone randomly says something to you about yourself, don't take offense, just listen. It could change your life. Afterall, we all live here together. We HAVE to look out for each other.

Friday, March 11, 2011

No Mo' Creamy Crack

Women of African decent decide to go "natural" for various different reasons. I can't speak for anyone but The Fancy One herself. Yes, I refer to myself as The Fancy One. Anyway, my mother grew up very conservative, conforming to society while upholding morals taught to her by her family's matriarch.
"Don't cut your hair, men like long hair."
"Have your own before you get married."
"Never spend your last."
"No shacking up, it looks bad."
I could go on. I would not be surprised if my mother was a virgin when she got married at 26. But this advice is sound and most still hold true today.
Anyway, when I mentioned going natural back in 2000/2001 to my mother who came from a long line of cosmetologists, her response was "For what?". And, at 20 years old, I didn't have any legitimate reason other than "I like big hair." So I continued to submit my self to the application of harsh chemicals to my kinky locs for another 10 years. Under my mother's care, my hair grew to be very long and healthy. People always complimented and commented on it. Mainly because black girls didn't have long hair unless it was "good hair", which I did not.

As I matured and began to embrace myself for who I am, I felt like I was ALWAYS fussing with my hair. Pulling it back, fixing the part, combing it, spraying it, etc. I just wanted to "be". As I became more health and spiritually cautious, eating organic, establishing a regular exercise routine, applying principals I've learned in Bible study, I began to question why I was applying chemicals to my hair when I was avoiding putting chemicals in my body. Then I pondered, if God intended for my hair to be long and flowing tendrils, it would grow out of my scalp that way, right?

So, after a discussion with my husband, who has always been that "Lightskinned, long hair" man, I realized that he didn't care if my hair was straight or nappy, as long it was long. He had even noticed that people with locs have longer hair than those with with relaxers. We decided, together, that I would stop with the relaxers. I don't think he realized what a long, expensive journey this would become. I would have to visit the salon weekly, as I used to style my own hair. I would be experimenting the "natural" hair products, which are more expensive than what I had been using with my relaxed hair. The part he questioned the most, cutting the relaxer out as the natural hair grows in.

A year later, my hair is about 6 inches shorter than it was when I started as I've become more agressive with the "trimming" as my natural hair gets longer. BUT I LOVE my nappy, sometimes dry, Frederick Douglass looking bush. I get compliments on it all the time. No more fussing with my hair. I wake, shake, and put a flower in it. I straighten it about every 2 months for a trim. I like it when it's straight but after about 3 days, I yearn for my bush.

What I find interesting is people's response to my bush. People who thought they knew me seem surprised that I now wear a bush. Some are even intimidated. I guess it does take a lot of guts to walk into a corporate office rocking a business suit, pumps, and a bush with a flower in it. From less mature and, I hate to say it but, less educated women, I get the "Your hair is so pretty when it's straight" or "You should wear your hair straight more often". I hate that society has told them that straight hair is prettier than the cottony bush that God intended them to have. Obviously, they don't know that I have always been a free spirit and never really cared about conforming to society's standards. I feel like my bush empowers myself and others. Now most of the black women in my office are growing their relaxers out. I'm so proud of them. I say "Eff yo' straight hair!"

I have many flaws that I could have been insecure about and, I admit, I used to try to hide. As I grew into the woman I am today, I learned to embrace those flaws and when people ask me "What happened to your hands?" or say "You're so skinny." My response, as of late, has been "That's the way God made me."

The moral: Embrace who God intended you to be....nappy hair and all.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

....A Year Later

So after a much needed 6 week break from work and all things responsible, I hit the ground running. I passed my exam, so now I am a certified Specialist in Blood Banking, I started teaching Blood Banking to unappreciative, know-it-all adults and traditional college students, and I got a full-time gig. It definitely wasn't my dream job or ideal schedule but the pay was within what I expected after acquiring so many degrees and certifications in my short 29 years of life.
Notice I describe the full-time gig in past tense. Yup! You guessed it, I didn't last long there. After a few run-ins with my insecure, intimidated by younger, smarter, more ambitious employees supervisor, I got the hell outta there in less than a year. I THINK I was there for like 8 months. After a severe confrontation, that resulted in a round table with the company's "Problem Management" department, I didn't do any work for the rest of that day. What did I do? I went job hunting online, found a gig, filled out the application, and got a call the next day to schedule the interview. I went into the interview with no experience, just my dazzling personality and impressive resume. We finished up at 10:30am, they were offering me the job at 2pm, $2k less than my desired salary but I was ready to get away from that hell hole and crazy supervisor. So NOW, I have my dream job with an ideal schedule. Patience is a virtue. I only had to wait 8 months.
Then my doctor husband decided he needed a break. *sigh* It's a never ending cycle. I couldn't get mad though. Residency really wore him out. I don't think I would've been able to work 80-100 hours/week for 3 years straight and still function. So, he took a hiatus while he studied for his $6000 worth of exams he had to take post-residency.
My husband's break from work brought us closer than we EVER were. I mean, we've been together since 2003, but with school and all the other crap we were doing, we were only boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife on the weekends. It was great to have him gain a new appreciation for household chores, running errands, and family time.
And just like that, all good things must come to an end. Plus, we were getting REALLY broke since we had to buy this big, ole, dumb house in the interim of breaks from work. Needless, to say Dr. McLovin started working after a 6 MONTH break. I must really love him, but he deserved it.
Now, we are blessed to both have our dream job and on the path to starting a family. Well, no family just yet. First...we 'bout to ball outta control this year! Yeah, I said. We gonna be irresponsible, buy stuff we don't need, go everywhere, eat out every night. You know, do all the stuff we couldn't do a year ago, all while hollering "Hood rich!" LOL!
I will be chronicling the "Adventures of Fancy and Jizzle" right here. Stay tuned...