Honesty is the best policy. Being honest says more about you than most anything you do. However,
everyone isn't ready for the truth and what the truth means to them. There are consequences to being completely honest. Sometimes telling the truth will result in loses. Be prepared but always be honest.
Things You May Lose When You Tell The Truth
1. Guilt
Whether it be revealing your true feelings or telling a business owner about a huge mistake you made with payroll. Telling someone who you love them can relieve lots of guilt if they pass. We know they knew how we felt. There is no guilty feeling of "I never told them that I loved them." Suppose we make an error while processing payroll but do not let anyone know. The havoc associated with bounced pay checks and bank fees might be profound. Imagine how guilty you would feel watching the business owner see the consequences of your error. Knowing that being honest about your mistake could have, at the very least, mentally prepared the owner for what was to come or, even better, take measures to fix the error.
2. Lack of respect
No matter how harsh it may come out, the truth is always respected. We gain respect when we have the courage to speak on the things that are hard to say. If someone did not respect you, they will after you have been honest about something that most people will not. A reputation for being honest is much more respected than a reputation for being "nice".
3. Weak associations
Whether it be family or friends, only weak people do not want to hear the truth about themselves or a situation. Personal growth comes when you work toward becoming a better person, which begins with owning your truth. Everyone is not in that space at the same time. Everyone is not strong enough to face those hard truths about themselves. While it is perfectly fine to accept people for who they are and where they are in life, people who are not ready to face their own issues usually shy away from someone who is completely honest. If you are in a space of growth, associations with people who are not growing can stunt your growth. Be honest anyway and let those weak associations go.
Honesty is the best policy. Being honest will keep you from feeling guilty about not sharing necessary information. You will also gain respect from many and keep up gain an honest reputation. People who are not strong enough to face their own truth will avoid someone who is. Be honest anyway. It is perfectly fine to no longer associate with people who do not encourage your growth.
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Business owners are ambitious and hard-working people. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing a vision come to reality and getting paid from pursuing a passion. However, the road to success is full of challenges that may push the entrepreneur to the point of giving up or worse, doing something that is not in line with an established set of morals. It may seem like the someone in the practice of underhanded dealings is getting ahead faster and even more bountiful than someone who is not, but it never lasts. Those who violate a set code of business ethics always end up losing more than they gained. Here are some tips to prevent you from falling into that trap.
1. Trust the process.
Having a business mentor to bounce ideas off is very helpful. If your mentor confirms that you are on the right path with your actions, trust that you will have great success. Look at the challenges as learning opportunities. Usually, there is something that you need to learn before you see huge success.
2. There are no shortcuts to the top. You have to put in the work.
Ambitious people always want more and are open to different types of challenges. Success looks very different to different people. It is so easy to want what someone else has and more. The question is, are you willing to do what they did to get that? An opportunity to take part in unethical dealings may tempt someone to take a shortcut that presents as very lucrative. Don't fall prey to that trap. Stand firm in your own version of success and don't try to take shortcuts to get there.
3. Be someone who you want to do business with.
Let's be honest. If someone has a history of crooked dealings and wants to do business with you, most likely, you will decline their proposal. Sacrificing ethics usually means that someone is getting the short end of the stick. That may not register when you are benefiting from it but it's only a matter of time before the tables will turn. Will you still want to do business with someone who is getting over on you? Will your customers want to do business with you after you've short-changed them? Make business decisions that are in line with someone whom you would want to do business with.
4. Stay in touch with your accountability partners.
When no one is around, you feel like no one see's you in the act of making a poor judgement call. If you feel like something you're about to do isn't right, it usually isn't. It's natural to want to go against your gut feeling when you think you will profit in the end. Ask your accountability partner for insight before you make your final decision. Usually, they will confirm what you originally thought and talk some sense in to you.
5. All money isn't good money.
In 2008, the largest Ponzi scheme in the history of the United States all came falling down. Bernie Madoff promised investors an unheard of return on investment in an unheard of amount of time, conning investors out of $65 billion. It took a large team of people to pull a scheme of this proportion off. They all made lots of money over a short time. They also all went to jail. Every dollar earned goes farther than dollars "given".
When you aren't progressing as quickly as you think you should, don't take easy ways out that will violate business ethics. Trust the process and learn from it. There are no shortcuts to successful business. You have to put in the work to make it last. Behave like a business person that you would want to do business with. Have your accountability partners hold you accountable. Stay away from deals that are too good to believe because all money is not good money.
Fancy Free LLC. specializes in wealth building techniques with personal development coaching. Call us at (410) 929-0302 for your complimentary consultation.
I love being a sistah! Like, I love being a black woman in America. We have our struggles but we are so free to be who we want to be here when you compare our lifestyle to some other cultures. I was blessed to be raised by powerful, motivated, black, female entrepreneurs. My mother named me Iyonna Hazel, after my Aunt Hazel, who treated me more like a grandchild than a great niece. My namesake, Aunt Hazel, was a black woman in the 60's who owned a salon. She owned the building and the business. The beauty industry generates billions of dollars in the United States and it was one of the first industries that allowed black women to partake in making millions. Madame C. J. Walker was the FIRST African-American woman millionaire turned philanthropist, self made in the beauty business selling hair products. I digress....
All of my family who lived in Baltimore worked in Aunt Hazel's salon. I think the name of it was Cosmos, but
Mama Fancy in her college days. 1970 something
we all called it "The Shop". Aunt Hazel's daughter worked at The Shop. My mother apprenticed at The Shop. She paid her way through college by working there as a stylist. My older cousins worked at The Shop, cleaning up, doing laundry, and running errands. Even I worked at The Shop, giving little $5 manicures at the tender age of 8 years old in the summers and on the weekends I spent with my beloved Aunt Hazel. So, I know the inner working of a salon. I grew up in one.
Aunt Hazel has since passed. But not before paying cash to build her retirement home from money made in The Shop and selling her business. I never really understood the advantages I had by growing around these things. I learned hustle and entrepreneurship. I got to listen in on mature conversations that taught me life lessons at an early age. My hair was always done. My hair was always healthy. My hair was always kind of long because of these things. It didn't hit me until I stopped relaxing my hair that black women have a "thing" with their hair.
When I was in graduate school, I worked part time in a salon doing natural hair, mostly braiding and loc maintenance. I was the only one. All the others specialized in "regular" hair styling. We had one stylist who was highly sought after for his weave and styling expertise. He was REALLY good and was usually booked. I was appalled when I would hear the receptionist getting cussed out because he did not have any appointments available. It was so crazy to me. I'd think "Is it that serious?" Apparently, it is. I just could never relate. I honestly felt like we have a serious problem in this society if people are enraged when they can't get a hair appointment or a pair of sneakers for that matter.
Styles Salons One and only weave for my wedding by the hair weave killah, Dariel
I got a relaxer when I was 11 because all my friends had relaxers and my mom was straightening my hair anyway, so what was the big deal? This made it easier, right? My mom has Indian in her family, literally. She was Pocahontas in her college years. Perfect brown skin and long flow-y hair down her back, no relaxer. Aunt Hazel churned out perfect bouffants and press & curls for years. That's just what black women did. We straightened and styled our hair. It seemed that a large majority of black women wanted long, flow-y hair and would stop at nothing to get it. Enduring chemical burns on the scalp, burned ears from curling iron or hot comb, hours under the dryer, pulling and tugging so much that the hairline recedes from the tension, and let's not forget the MONEY and TIME spent in the salon. Or basement. Or kitchen. All to achieve something that Jehovah never really intended for us.
If I were meant to have a brown complexion, I'd have a brown complexion. Other than tanning in the summer, I don't invest time and effort into making my skin looking like something it's not. If I were meant to be 6 feet tall, I'd be 6 feet tall. Other than wearing heels, which I do for style and not to look taller, I don't invest time and money in to trying to make myself taller. If my hair was meant to be long and flow-y, it would grow long and flow-y from my scalp. Why did I spend so much time trying to make my hair do something it was never intended to do?
As a "natural", I straighten my hair once a year in the winter. Just because. The rest of the year, I style my hair in it's natural texture. I know what styles work for me and my hair. Even with natural hair, I don't look to make my hair look like someone else's natural hair. I don't do much to my hair, I never did. Even when I had a relaxer, I did a wash and roller set once a week, if that roller set turned out kinda janky, oh well, I would have janky hair for the week. Same with my hair now, I style it bi-weekly and I just make adjustments to the hairstyle as the weeks go on. It's so funny to me that when I think my hair looks crazy, I still get compliments.
When I was 21, I told my mother I was going to stop getting a relaxer. She asked me why. I was a dumb 21 year old, I didn't have a legitimate answer other than I wanted big hair. LOL! So I continued to get relaxers
Wash and go "faux hawk" After a year of transitioning
for 7 more years. Then I had a talk with my husband and we both decided it was time. Wearing my hair in it's natural texture is a personal choice. Even if you choose to wear your hair straight, with modern technology and advances in products, you don't have to straighten your hair with chemicals. We are all in a place of health consciousness. We are eating healthy, clean and organic. Why put chemicals on your body if you're making a conscious effort not to put them in your body? Just something to think about.
I hurt for black women who look at my hair with admiration and say "I wish I could wear my hair like that?" or "I wish I could go natural?" Who told them that they can't? The reasons I hear make me sad. They don't think they can wear their hair like that to work. Their hair is too nappy. They don't have time to style it. If your job has an issue with you wearing your hair the way it grows out of your head, you probably need to consider a new job. And if they fire you or limit your opportunities because of a choice of hairstyle, they know they will have some class action discrimination cases coming their way. What is nappy hair anyway? My hair seems nappy sometimes too. Usually when it's dry. Look at the products you're putting in your hair, there's probably some form of alcohol in it. Alcohol dries your hair out, making you think it's nappy and unmanageable when it's not. For those who really want to go without relaxers, take a good look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. What are you REALLY afraid of? And just how much time do you spend in the salon again? Oh.
Dry Twist Out after 3 years of being "natural"
All I'm saying is, you are beautiful just the way you are. Your hair is beautiful. Long and flow-y. Short and sleek. Loose curls. Tight curls aka *whispers* kinky. It's all beautiful because it's yours. Own it. Jehovah made you that way. Beautiful and in his image. Do what makes you feel beautiful but do it for you. Going through all those changes to alter your hair doesn't make you anymore beautiful than you already are.
Long, short, curly, kinky, or straight.....live your Fancy Life, embracing who you were meant to be.
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I am no life coach. Never claimed to be one but I am pretty good at problem solving. Like, problem solving is my profession. My employer pays me to find solutions. My mind automatically starts looking for a solution when I see or hear a problem. I encourage people not to wallow in their situation being all sad and frustrated. Find the answer and apply it. Problem solved. On to the next thing that life throws at you. I don't like to see people that I care about depressed because of something out of their control *ahem* or repetitive poor decision making. I offer solutions or try to direct them to someone who may have the answers. When I don't have the answers, trust me, I have no problem sitting with Sway. However, as I have matured, I have learned when to keep my insight to myself. I have learned that unsolicited input is not well received in some situations. Even when I am called on, I say what I have to say and leave it alone.
Different strokes for different folks. I have my own life to worry about. Taking on other people's issues is not apart of that. You came, you asked, I gave you some knowledge, now it's in your hands. You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. And I do not try to. Everything we do is in our mindset. Some people are so fixated on the problem and defiantly chose not to see the solution. Like, everything suggestion I make, they counter with a reason it won't work without even trying. Some people relish in a state of chaos. So much so that when they see calm waters ahead they turn back into the storm. These kinds of people tend to always have something to complain about. I am not that person. I am optimistic. Sometimes the only solution I can offer is to look at the blessings that come from a seemingly bad situation. I know that someone who chooses to focus on the negative cannot be helped by anything I have to offer. I think life should be nice and drama free. I don't give any advice that I wouldn't take myself. I don't give any advice that is out of my scope of knowledge. Having trouble with your step kids? I don't know what to tell you. If you're looking for advice, talk to my auntie, she's great with her step kids. Sometimes people just need to hear themselves talk through the situation, so they're not really looking for input just a listening ear. I do talk things out with my husband all the time. He's great at fake listening. LOL!
I am in the business of helping people who want to help themselves but I am not trying to control or force anyone's hand. I only want the best for everyone, so I speak honestly which can hurt sometimes. My loves know I am going to give it to them straight, with a chaser, of course. I mean, I'd rather my mother tell me, in a loving way, that my breath stinks and I need to get to the dentist ASAP than have people avoid talking to me. I am not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. Just open their eyes. If they chose not to take my advice, I am not offended, it's just my perspective on the situation. I will never know all of the aspects if I am not in the situation. Who knows. I COULD be wrong. LOL!
Anyone can live the Fancy life but everyone isn't up for the challenge it takes. Being a problem solver is associated with personal growth and development. We are all different and at different stages in our lives. I am alright with that. I let them be great at whatever phase they are in.
If you are up for the challenge and interested in making life changes. Click HERE for a free report on how to make that happen or visit www.fancyfreellc.com.
The comedian Kevin Hart said it best on last night's BET Award Show, "Everybody needs a "No Man". The "No Man" is that true friend who tells you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear. For example: "Your breath hasn't been smelling right lately, whens the last time you saw a dentist?" "That dress may have looked good on you about 25 lbs. ago. Girl, you know you're too big to be wearing that!" "You slept with all them people in a drunken stupor?!?! You need to go get tested." "No, that was not the right thing to do/say, you need to go apologize" "You know this rug is too small for this room. You need to buy a bigger one." I could go on but I think you get the point.
My husband is usually my "No Man", but as a smart man he has learned that he has to be gentle with the "No" news. Sometimes he is too gentle when I need him to just tell me the truth. Anyway, I had a "No Man" situation this weekend. I have been completely natural for about 2 months now. While I love my Afro, I wanted to try something a little different.
So on Friday, I warned my husband that I was going to try something different with my hair. As a "retired" natural hairstylist, I had styled many natural coifs and was going to try one of the popular styles on my own hair. I went and purchased a new hair product, washed my hair, and went to town.
While the end result was beautiful, well moisturized, two-strand twists, I wasn't quite that excited about how this new style looked on me, with my slender face, considering my hair isn't that long right now. But my faithful "No Man" insisted that it was "Cute" and the style just needed to "Grow on him". So we went to the baseball game together with my new hairstyle. I only got a few compliments, not as many as I usually get on my hair, which pushed me in the direction of "This style isn't for me". I just didn't feel comfortable or fly with non-big hair.
On Sunday night, 2 of my friends came over to watch the BET Awards with me. Both of them are opinionated and honest young ladies. The first friend arrived and quickly noticed my hair. Her initial comment "Your hair looks cute, but it's good "weekend" hair. You don't plan on wearing it to work like that, do you?" The second friend, who has been my hairstylist through my transition to natural, instantly called me "Lil' Tank Tank". Thank God for my "No Men". Can you imagine how I would've ruined my "fly, natural chic" reputation at work, coming in with this so-so looking hair?
My "No Men" confirmed what I was feeling. As a result, I included into my morning routine taking my beautiful, well moisturized, two-strand twists OUT. And the results? Well, let's just say, I've been compliments all morning on my hair.
The lesson, be real with the people you love. Don't let them walk around looking crazy. Also, keep real people around you. If the people in your circle have never given you constructive criticism, they probably aren't your real friends. No real friends = you end up being the one walking around looking crazy. Be real and God bless.
