Why I Don't Participate In Holiday Charity

Yes! I am in the retail business and I offer holiday specials and gift sets because who am I to deny my Fancy Friends that want to bless their loved one with the awesomeness of Fancy Free Hair & Skin. I also do a little something special for my Fancy Free team at the end of the year for dealing with my crap over the past 365 days. However, something in my soul doesn't sit right with holiday toy drives. I don't just. I just don't support because it's not in line with what I believe. Now that I've gotten that out of the way.....

I'm just going to jump right in there and state the unpopular truth. Christmas is a holiday that has
been deliberately marketed directly to children with all of the lights, decorations and most importantly....gifts. Once retailers realized how far people were willing to go for their children they increased the marketing appeal to children so that consumers would increase spending at the end of the year and they could potentially make up for revenue losses before the end of the year. with this one holiday. There. I said it. I am a scientist, I have done the research. If you do your research, you will find that all of the data agree with the statement.

2017 Christmas Eve crab feast. Where is this selfie stick anyway?

However, I am not anti-Christmas. I really enjoy being with my family. I am a generous person. I like to give. I love to see the joy on a recipient's face when they receive a gift from me. I love the good food and sweet treats. It warms my heart to see people going the extra mile to do something nice for someone during the "holidays". After doing our research, my husband made an informed decision that we would no longer celebrate "Christmas" by buying gifts for our loved ones.

While we are blessed and have abundant resources, there are many who blessed differently and do not have money for extra things, like Christmas gifts. Aside from loved ones not being around for the holiday season, not having money to buy gifts sends a lot of people into depression. Or worse, robbing, stealing and scamming so that they have something to give. I love the giving spirit but I hate that it has this effect on some people. I'd rather people not feel bad for what they don't have. I prefer for people to feel like they can give what they can afford and not out of obligation. Now, on to the receiving part...

If you know me, you know I do not encourage any activity that encourages or reinforces a sense of entitlement. There are no "participation" trophies. You get what you deserve. You earn you keep. You reap what you sow. You do not get an A for just showing up. You get the point. I feel like Christmas encourages a sense of entitlement in children. Most of our children are well behaved and do well in school, so we want to reward them. Why wait until Christmas? Why not do it year round? Because the calendar says buy gifts?

We want kids to feel good about themselves. We don't want them to be sad or traumatized because of a situation they didn't create but have to deal with. We pull together to give to the less fortunate so they will "have something to open" on Christmas morning. Ok. Now what? Does that actually help their circumstances? Some children may learn that there is someone who cares about them. I feel like most are actually learning that they should give gifts because it's a holiday. I feel like we are teaching

We started with the envelope system.
It worked wonders.

them that they are entitled to receive something because it's a holiday. Is that really helping them?

When my husband finished residency we were all set to ball out of control. When we were making the most money, we were spending the most, which means we were broke. It wasn't until we sat down and got disciplined about our finances that we were able to break the paycheck to paycheck cycle. We had to set a budget and stick to it. Which meant, no more frivolous spending. We had to tell people no. Most importantly, we had to tell ourselves no. It was hard for our egos because we were the big time doctor and laboratory manager. How is it possible that we can't afford to buy certain things and go certain places? Listen. It happens if you don't get control over your spending habits and establish a healthy relationship with money.

I strongly believe that African-Americans have a hard time establishing generational wealth because we have not established a healthy relationship with money. Our community encourages giving when we don't have it to give and buying when we can't afford. Christmas is no exception. I can't tell you what a relief it was when we stopped buying our loved ones gifts for Christmas. We explained why and our family understood. We still give to our family but when it's in the budget. The gifts are even more appreciated because they come at an unexpected time. We call them "any day gifts". By doing this, we set an example for budgeting and fiscal responsibility. If the hot shot doctor and his wife can say "That's more than we budgeted for." and "We can't afford that right now.", there's no reason that everyone else can't do the same.

Because I don't feel that toy drives and holiday gift donations are in line with my personal views about finance and entitlement, I shy away from them. I do support plenty of charities and non-profits that focus more on experiences than giving material possessions for the sake of giving. Hit me up for the school supplies, field trips, professional attire, book drives, etc. I definitely love the kids. I'm just not buying toys cuz it's Christmas time.

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How To Create A Budget - Five Steps To Making A Personal Budget That Works For You

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What is a budget? The dictionary defines it as an estimate of income and expenditure for a set time. Large corporations have budgets. Small businesses have budgets. Households should have budgets. If you find that you are living pay check to pay check, odds are you need to create a budget. Not sure where to start? Here are general steps to follow for creating a budget.

Five Steps To Creating A Budget

1. Document all income and an exact list of expenditures.
Start with your monthly income and your monthly living expenses. Then include how much you spend every month on everything else. Everything else includes coffee money, gas money, groceries, hobbies, fitness center, debt payment, clothes, dry cleaning, etc. You need an accurate picture of what is coming in and going out.
2. Factor in a savings plan.
No matter what your financial goal is, make room to save 10% of your net income. For every $10 you bring home, put $1 in a savings account. Be faithful with this regimen and you will see your savings grow. Savings allow you to borrow from yourself in emergencies instead of using credit. Adjust your living expenses so that you can live on 90% of your net income.
3. Determine your financial goals and make adjustments to your budget to meet them.
By writing down where your money is going, you will get a good idea of the adjustments you can make to meet your financial goals. If your goal is to pay debt, a good place to start is using 10%-20% of your net income to pay debt. Adjust your other expenses so that you can do this. If 10%-20% of your net income does not cover your minimum payment requirements, look to see where you can make concessions or call your creditors to make other arrangements so that debt payment will fit into your budget. Creditors are willing to work with you when you express your plan to repay them.
4. Allow some wiggle room.
Creating a budget is not meant to deprive you of happiness or fun. Budgets will keep you from going into debt enjoying things that are not affordable. Depriving yourself can lead to bingeing, which defeats the purpose of budgeting. Create a vacation fund if you like to vacation or a shopping fund if you like to shop. Budget to contribute an amount to these funds so that when you are ready to take a vacation or go shoe shopping you aren't using money that has already been allocated to something else.
5. Stay within your budget.
Consistency is the key to success in anything. As your financial situation changes, adjust your budget so. If you suffer a financial loss, revisit your budget. If you have an increase in income, adjust your budget. Create a habit of staying within your budget no matter what your income is.

All households and income levels need a budget. Create a budget by writing down all the money coming in as well as what you are spending it on. Start saving 10% of your income, no matter what. Determine your financial goals and create your budget to meet them. To prevent binge spending, do not deprive yourself. Be disciplined by sticking to your budget.

Fancy Free, LLC. helps everyday people reach their financial and personal goals through various vehicles. Call us at (410) 929-0302 to schedule your complimentary consultation.

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Shopping With Fancy

When living a Fancy Life, you have to keep your money where you can see it, IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT! I bet you thought I was going to say "in your closet" like our favorite Sex In The City character. Nope. Not me. In my household, we pride ourselves on a bargain. If I can score a $1600 handbag for $400, my husband is all for it. Everything has to be a deal or at least reasonably priced. The first rule of thumb is to never pay retail. Everything is negotiable. Somewhere, someone is trying to get rid of the very thing you're looking for at a price of little to nothing.

Budget:
You should ALWAYS have a budget when you are shopping. We like nice things and we work hard, so we deserve to treat ourselves every now and then. But being fancy doesn't require you breaking the bank to buy "things". There will always be some new handbag, dress, boot, sandal, etc. that you just HAVE to have. Avoid blowing your budget at all costs. There are a few exceptions to this rule but we typically stick with our budget.

Shopping in the Mall:

I try to avoid the mall at all costs. If I am in the mall, it's because I'm shopping for a special occasion at the last minute or I wanted a single cupcake. LOL! I generally go straight to the clearance section to peruse the sale. If I'm looking at regular priced merchandise, it's because I have a coupon or I know someone who is going to give me their employee discount. Although I try to avoid it, I sometimes have to pay full price for my husband's shoes. Men's shoes are so expensive and the styles never really change so they're hardly ever on sale. Womp! In any store, I grab everything I like until I can't find anything else. This can eliminate any "run backs". A "run back" is when you can't stop thinking about that thing you put back and decided you wanted it again. We try to avoid these because, usually, if you want it, some one else will too. I've had a few traumatizing experiences when I changed  my mind and tried to "run back", only to find my coveted item in
someone else's hands. *sigh* Once I have everything I like, I can begin the process of elimination.

Shopping Online:
I LOVE shopping online. You can find pretty much anything your little heart desires from the convenience of your couch and they bring it right to your doorstep within a day or two. I put everything I want in my cart, just like at the mall. Then I search the specific item to make sure I'm getting the best price. The cost of shipping can be a killer with online shopping. If I'm purchasing your item, I want it shipped for free. So, I think long and hard about if I'm going to purchase something if shipping is not free. There are very few instances when I will pay for shipping. The reason being is that someone, some where is willing to ship it for free. A lot of sites try to sucker you in by offering free shipping if you spend a certain amount. It's a trap!!! don't let them get you! You will end up spending $100 to get free shipping all you really wanted was a $20 necklace. Then I do the process of elimination in my cart.

Process of Elimination:
At the mall or in store, this process begins in the fitting room. I dread the fitting room, but if I only budgeted for 2 dresses and I've picked up 8, something has got to give. Sometimes, what I thought was my size is not. Other times, what looks great on the hanger, doesn't look so hot on me. The fitting room usually eliminates at LEAST 1 item, if not more. Online, I look at shipping and the budget as well. Then I ask myself the following questions:

• Do I really NEED it?
• Is it in the budget?
• Is shipping free?
• Is this item worth paying for shipping?
• If it's not in the budget, will I be thinking about it next week if I don't get it?
• If it's not in the budget, is the deal of a lifetime that I will never see again?

The rule about breaking the budget is, if you're still going to be thinking about it next week, get it. If you will never see a price this low again, get it even if it's over budget. Other than that, put it back. You don't need it. Next week, you may see something you like even better and will be glad you held off the first go around.

You have to have money in the bank to live a Fancy Life, so keep it there. Always look for a bargain. When you go shopping, grab everything you like because it may not be available if you change your mind. Stay within your budget, unless you think that item will be haunting you forever if you don't get it. Things come and go. Don't break the bank acquiring them.

Until next time. Enjoy your Fancy Life...within your budget!

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