I recently read a male friends blog on relationships and how he had given the ole' okie doke to his psuedo-girlfriend of 7 months with the excuse of "if it ain't broken, why fix it". There were several comments about how men should be honest with a woman if he is not interested in a committed relationship but no one pointed out how the woman could be at fault.
First of all, woman need to stop chasing and catering to men. Men like a challenge. It's a game to them. They want what is hardest for them to get. If you make it easy for them, they lose interest, quickly. It doesn't matter how pretty, succesful, smart, stylish, or fun you are. If you're easy access, forget about it. When I say easy, I don't mean that you are a slut. I mean, you are always available when he wants to talk to you or see you. You call him more than he calls you. You do all of the calling. You change your plans when he calls you at the last minute. Stick to your schedule. If you planned to chill at home, keep that plan. He should be finding a way to fit into your schedule, not the other way around, if he's interested. If he isn't, he'll move on, to your advantage. You don't want him wasting your time anyway.
You take anything he gives you as acceptable. For example, no birthday call or gift, no date for Valentine's Day, he's missing in action on Christmas, unaswered phone calls, unreturned messages, etc. You brush the hurt off and accept him with open arms without making him suffer consequences when he decides to come back around with no explanation. People in general, whether it be a male-female relationship or employee-employer relationship, are only going to do to you what you allow. As seen in the parent-child relationship, boundaries are tested and pushed until punishment is enforced. Not saying that you must punish people to get them to treat you right but you must draw the line at what is acceptable to you. After all, no one is going to care about you as much as you are. So, if you don't speak up for yourself, who will?
I realize that no one wants to be lonely, but accepting substandard behavior from your mate will probably leave you just as miserable as being single. You must first know what your needs are before you can know how you need to be love. Sure, any man can care for you and love you. But does he love you the way you need to be loved. Some women need to be wined and dined while others prefer walks in the park and picnics. If the one you are with is not meeting your needs, be woman enough to move on. On the flip side, everyone has there quirks and baggage. People don't change, so you must know when enough is enough. Are you willing to accept the good with the bad? Is the bad overshadowing the good?
Just my thoughts on dating and relationships. If you are unhappy in the relationship you are in, think about the changes you need to make before you try to change your mate. After all, you only have control over your actions so choose them wisely.