Saturday, April 13, 2019

In a Fancy Funk

So, I didn't think I was depressed because I'm not sad but according to my therapist. I caught da Baby Blues aka Postpartum Depression. LOL! Mine is manifesting as anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, and hopelessness. Well....DUH! I AM overwhelmed. I am used to being able to do it all and now I feel like I can't do SHAT! My house is in disarray. My to-do list is never ending because I can never get to everything I intend to get to. I feel like I cannot complete any tasks because I am constantly interrupted to tend to the baby. When I do drop her off with my family to get things done, I feel like I'm rushing because I don't want to burden anyone with my wild banshee kids. SMH

My Little Angels
I've been seeing a therapist regularly since 2013. I started off going every other week but in 2016, I graduated to monthly check-ins. Requiring therapy less frequently is a graduation. LOL! I have no doubt in my mind that I am blessed and I live a great life but sometimes things happen that I need to talk through. According to my therapist, I have made leaps and strides in my personal growth since 2013. She's seen me grow from being a hospital laboratory supervisor with no kids, subconsciously dealing with a lot of hurt to a healing, full-time mompreneur of two. When I say she's seen me through, I mean every step of the process. So, I think it's safe to say that she knows me. 

I was doing well adjusting to two kids. Even though we didn't think the whole 2 year spread through because dealing with a two year old and a newborn is CRAZY! I was even adjusting well even when my infant daughter was colicky and my son was being...well...2 years old. LOL! It's all temporary, right? The clutter in my house was starting to close in on me. I was getting to it. Little by little I was throwing stuff out, organizing and donating. Washed laundry was piling up. But it's clean. I never put the pantry items in the actual pantry but we have nutritious, home cooked meals. My staff asked me for more hours. GREAT!! PLEASE!! I DEFINITELY need more help. I figured out a daily schedule that optimized productivity. I was meditating and working out everyday. Yep. I can DO this. Then it hit....4 month sleep regression. It hit like a ton of bricks. We went from 6-7 hours of sleep back to her waking up once or twice each night. Torture!

When asked
"How's your day going?"
One night, I was ok. Two nights....mmmmmm, what is going on here? By night five, I was about to lose it. My precious routine was out the door. By week two, I wasn't getting my day started until 12p. NOON!!! By the time I got my daughter to my mother, I'd have 3 hours to get what I needed to get done and the back to pick her up. It was either Fancy Free stuff or house stuff. I had to choose. I couldn't do both. So my March therapy session was a dumping session. And my therapist looked at me and said, "Iyonna. You have postpartum depression. You are doing way too much and you cannot figure out how to get it done. That's not like you." She could see my hopelessness. And then it all made sense. LOL!

So, I came home and told my husband that my therapist diagnosed me with postpartum depression, no medication required, I just needed to come to therapy more often. My husband, "I KNEW IT!!! I've been watching you." Well, I thought being depressed meant I would be sad. I'm not sad, I'm just overwhelmed. I know my husbands capabilities. He is who he is. He ain't changing how he problem solves. My therapist knows that. So she told me to get him involved. Write down everything I'm doing for the house and my business and we decide, together, what he will pay to delegate. And by him paying, I mean money will be allocated from the household budget to pay for services we previously did not pay for. Easy breezy. Praise Jehovah for blessing me with an understanding husband. Or at least a husband who hates when I "Release the Kraken!", so he takes preventative measures. 不不不不不不

Daddy's home!
Viola! Problem solved. Well, the problem is in the process of being solved. I'm writing this blog to make two points.
1. Everyone needs a good therapist. EVERYONE!
2. Ask for help if you're feeling overwhelmed.
My husband and I are still working through the kinks of adjusting to two children and business and marriage. It takes lots of honest communication. Honest. Not hurtful. My gift is process improvement so I am always looking for ways we can improve our household routine. It's clearly going to take a while but we literally have a lifetime. LOL!

If you have recently had a baby, it can happen to you. Don't be ashamed. Speak up. Ask for help. The first step in being a great mother is to make sure you're being great to yourself.

Shameless Plug Alert:
Fancy Free Hair & Skin manufactures quality products for hair and skin, as well as provides natural hair consults for women who would like assistance on their natural hair journey. Our motto is "Keeping you fancy and free of chemicals." Visit our website,, to see a full range of our products and services. Sign up for our mailing list to receive natural hair tips and stay up to date on sales and the latest happenings with Fancy Free.


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